Chapters (70)
We smile at each other as we both refocus on the study materials in front of us.
“Exactly,” I say, trying to match her renewed energy and falling completely short.
But as Caitlin talks on about the history of same-sex institutions, I can’t get Caleb’s panicked face out of my head. Has he been … spying on Caitlin or something? That seems like a stretch, but she was definitely caught off guard by his stress comment.
Clearly I’m not the only one who Caleb can see through.
17
CALEB
All right, take two. I can do this.
Yesterday caught me a little off guard. I knew Adam was in the library—could feel his feelings like a homing beacon—but I didn’t realize that he and Caitlin were debate partners now. Based on his feelings, he was equally thrown by the whole thing. He felt surprised and panicked and … embarrassed. And then I let slip that I knew Caitlin was stressed, like an idiot, after promising Dr. Bright that I would lie low, and I just really don’t want to be thinking about that conversation at all anymore.
But after seeing how Caitlin and Adam seemed to be getting along, I’m even more determined to talk to him. Maybe he won’t be totally against me trying to apologize. But I think the key is to approach Adam on his own, which is what I’m doing now. Well, he’s not entirely on his own—there’s a bunch of other kids in the hallway, but at least Caitlin and Bryce aren’t going to come popping out of nowhere at any second. Hopefully.
Adam is crouched at his locker, trying to get a book that’s jammed at the bottom, and I’m hit with the waves of frustration coming off him. It’s all tangled and irritated, like when you pull your earbuds out of your bag to find a mess of wires that hardly resembles headphones.
I take a deep breath and walk toward him.
“Hey, Adam.”
His head snaps up at me, and oof, instant flood of panic. It feels like I’ve missed a step going down the stairs; my stomach drops and my heart starts pounding; rivers form in the lines on my palms. Adam’s eyes are wide and that light, fluttery feeling swoops into my gut once more. At least this time it feels less invasive—probably because there’s so much other stuff to distract from it.