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Back The Infinite Noise Save as PDF
Chapters (70)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  69. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  70. Newsletter Sign-up

But what do I do about it? That’s a totally different, terrifying question. A question I’m not sure I’m even at yet. Because it feels dishonest to try and be with someone when I’m only sharing part of who I really am with them. I mean, everyone keeps secrets. But this feels like a big secret.

I want to tell him. I have to tell him. If I ever want to be more than just Adam’s friend, he deserves to know the truth. On Sunday, I’m going to talk to Dr. Bright about it, and if she thinks it’s all right, then I’m going to tell him. And then I can tell him how I feel and everything will be fine. No: better than fine. Things will be good because I’m pretty sure he feels the same way. As long as he doesn’t freak out about my ability, things will be great.

Thinking about it makes my heart leap into my throat in anxious anticipation. The thought of Adam knowing—of anyone outside my family knowing—terrifies me. But I can do this. I can be brave enough. Because the alternative—keeping a huge secret from someone who I think is turning into my best friend—just isn’t acceptable. I was able to tell Caitlin I just wanted to be friends. I can tell Adam my biggest secret and that I want to be more than friends. I can. I’ll be brave.

34

CALEB

I am a total coward. Before I know it, almost a month has gone by since Dr. Bright gave me the go-ahead, saying, “If you trust him, you should tell him,” and I’ve stayed completely quiet. School got busy and spring training got intense and Adam was constantly stressed out about his big debate competition (which he totally nailed like I knew he would) and there just hasn’t been a good opening.

But today is Adam’s seventeenth birthday and I feel like I might spontaneously combust if I don’t tell him soon. And, let’s be real, with everything Dr. Bright has accidentally hinted at about her other clients, that might be a possibility. We still don’t know that much about this—for all I know, I’m gonna get worked up extra bad one day and just burst into flames. That might honestly be preferable over this constant state of standing in the open doorway of an airplane, wanting to jump but being too paralyzed with fear to take that final step.

But first I have to go through the doorway in front of me. I hear footsteps and the creaking of the heavy door on its hinges, opening to reveal Mr. and Mrs. Hayes’s smiling faces.