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Back The Infinite Noise Save as PDF
Chapters (70)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  69. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  70. Newsletter Sign-up

I lie The Aeneid on my chest and stare up at the stupid stick-on glow stars Alice made me put on my ceiling. I’ve hurt Alice before, I know I have. She’s my sister, I’m bound to get into fights with her. But it didn’t feel like this. Hurting Adam hurts more and I don’t know why. Maybe because when I piss off Alice we’re still stuck living together and I get to be around her feelings enough to know how to make it right. Or at least, I know when she’s mostly over it and it’s safe to approach again. With Adam, I don’t know if he’s over it. Based on how he felt earlier today, I would be surprised if he’d already forgotten about it. But maybe he has. Maybe he’s out with his friends (does he have any?) and the whole dustup he had with me and Bryce is a distant annoyance in his brain. Maybe he’s fine and I’m just overreacting because the moment I’m given space to have my own feelings, they all rush in and overload my brain until it goes completely on the fritz.

It’s only 10 P.M. and I know it’s a weekend and my life should probably be more exciting than this, but I turn off the light and try to go to sleep.

14

ADAM

Looks like they won the game. I try to rustle up some school pride or happiness at this, but come up empty.

I really shouldn’t be Instagram-stalking Caleb but I can’t help myself. I know this is probably a betrayal to my generation but: social media is such a curse. Back in the Stone Age when my parents were dating, all they could do was wonder what the other was doing when they weren’t together. They didn’t have to be exposed to every second of every day, every person the other was hanging out with, every experience they were missing out on. They could just let their imaginations run wild.

I don’t have to wonder if Caleb has spent the entire evening thinking about our terrible encounter earlier today like I have—I know. I know he hasn’t, because he’s been thinking about football and winning and the girl he’s inevitably sharing a milkshake with at the local burger joint the football team frequents because apparently we live in a fucking CW show.

And why should he be thinking about it? He tried to do a nice thing for someone he barely knows and I reacted like a complete weirdo. Nothing to write home about. A blip in his day and a loud, screaming, neon warning sign in mine.

“Whatcha looking at, honey?” my mom asks from the doorway, snapping me out of my reverie.