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Back The Infinite Noise Save as PDF
Chapters (70)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  69. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  70. Newsletter Sign-up

“Yeah, well”—I look up at Dr. Bright, hoping she’ll start to understand—“I can’t go to school tomorrow without fixing this, and Sunday is his study day so I know he won’t want to come over tonight. This’ll just have to do.”

I hear how whiny and pathetic I sound, and I do everything in my power not to cringe. Dr. Bright’s face crumples and she sits back again, her eyes swiveling up to the ceiling like she’s just completely given in.

“Very well.”

For some reason, that feels like permission to send the text I’ve typed out, but I’m still freaked about saying the wrong thing and totally blowing it.

“Okay,” I start, hoping that Dr. Bright will tell me I’m doing the right thing and it will all turn out fine. “I’m saying, ‘I’m sorry that I upset you yesterday. But you need to know that I like your feelings. All of them. So you shouldn’t feel weird or anything about the fact that I can feel them. Because it doesn’t have to be weird.’ How’s that?”

It is not my normal policy to read my texts to a grown-up, but this feels like a desperate situation, and Dr. Bright’s advice is what got me into this whole “feelings” mess in the first place. I wouldn’t have ever gotten to know Adam if she hadn’t suggested it.

That thought makes a rock of fear drop to the bottom of my stomach. I don’t want to think about that. I don’t want to imagine what my life would be like without him.

“You’re going to send it regardless of what I have to say about better forms of communication, aren’t you?” she says wearily, and in a weird way, that gives me the confidence to take the leap. I can’t lose this. I can’t even risk losing this. And if stuffy Dr. Bright thinks I’m being impulsive and dumb, I’m probably doing exactly what I should be doing.

“Yep.”

I send the text.

39

ADAM

I’m sorry that I upset you yesterday. But you should know that I like your feelings. All of them. So you shouldn’t feel weird or anything about the fact that I can feel them. Because it doesn’t have to be weird.

What in the hell am I supposed to do with that?

My heart is in my throat and I can’t feel my fingertips. I think I might actually pass out. Wrapping my head around Caleb’s confession last night was hard enough as it is. It shouldn’t be possible—it shouldn’t have been so easy for me to believe. But I do. I totally do. It makes so many things make sense.

But this doesn’t make any sense. What on earth is he trying to say?