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Back The Infinite Noise Save as PDF
Chapters (70)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  69. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  70. Newsletter Sign-up

She leans around me to say good-bye to Caitlin and then asks me to make her apologies to Caleb. I tell her I will and I wave as she makes her way down the bleachers. Any time I think I’m living the high school cliché, I’m reminded that so many of the people in my life are not normal. At least they’re not normal in a way that’s interesting and cool, instead of being not normal in the way that means they lie in bed for days at a time.

As I watch Caleb move around the field with a fierce intensity I’ve never seen from him, it dawns on me just how differently he operates. He’s feeling the emotions of the entire team, the entire stadium, and he carries it all on his shoulders like a pro. Not to mention, dealing with me when I get bad. Every part of my being wants to return the favor—wants to know how to comfort Caleb when he gets overwhelmed, how to talk him down when he gets furious. But I have no idea where to start.

Talking to my mom had been a mixed bag. I didn’t tell her about the empath stuff but instead borrowed Caleb’s mirror-touch synesthesia example. She knows the processes a brain like that goes through, but she’s not a psychologist. She couldn’t tell me how to be there for someone like Caleb. And where I would normally turn to research, there’s not exactly a handbook on this.

I push any thought of my own problems out of my head and refocus on the game. I’m determined to be here for Caleb. To be “green” as he calls it. To be normal.

49

CALEB

As the school year starts to wind down, I settle into a rhythm for the first time since the beginning of junior year. I start to get back on track with schoolwork—though my grades are never going to recover from first semester—go to art therapy with Chloe and Frank, and spend all my free time with Adam. There are still the days where the tide pulls me under, but we start to learn how to balance those days. Sometimes Adam hides from me—only talking to me over Skype or the phone so I don’t have to feel his emotions—and sometimes he tries to squash his feelings down. But, when I ask, he lets me sit on the ocean floor with him. It’s not exactly pleasant, but I always leave it feeling like I know Adam even better. And I’m grateful for that.