Time to just lay it all out there.

“Dr. Bright says I can’t make decisions for you. And I think that’s what I was trying to do,” I say, admitting that I didn’t get here on my own, I needed help from my fucking therapist. I take a deep breath before diving into the next part, cracking open my chest for him to do whatever he wants with it. “I care about you so much and I didn’t want to make your life more complicated or make things harder for you so I guess I just … I shut you out.”

Another shuddering inhale. God, this is hard. His blue warmth is starting to bleed through the cracks in the wall and I want to cry with relief.

“I was a fucking coward,” I finish. And then—just when I was hoping a dam would burst—the wall just dissolves, letting the blue-green wash over me, clearing out the muck in my veins for the first time in months.

“I feel like I should apologize too,” Adam starts, and I immediately jump in to stop him.

“No, just let me,” he insists. Another deep breath in for both of us. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this—about us. And I think I was too wrapped up in my own shit before. I was so worried about making you feel sad that I didn’t think. I didn’t let you in. And I put a lot of pressure on you to be the stable one—the normal one—in the relationship, which is pretty fucking ironic. Your power is cool and everything but I don’t need you to be my superhero. And I’m sorry if you felt like you had to be. I don’t think you’re a coward.”

Leave it up to Adam to come out with an entire articulate speech while I sit here with random words spilling out of my mouth. I try to take it all in—really process what he’s saying—but my brain is stuck on one thing.

“But I want to be your superhero,” I say, my hand itching to take his but uncertain if we’re there yet. “I want to make things better but … I’m just not sure I always can.”

I’m crippled under my own black sludge but a sliver of affection cuts into it, lifting it off of me.

“You make things better just by being there,” he says, really looking at me for the first time since we sat down. He laughs despite himself and my heart soars. “I mean, I never thought I’d even be friends with you, let alone…”

We smile carefully at each other as we simultaneously realize that this thing might not be ruined.

“You’ve made things so much better.” His fingers reach out to touch mine, braver than me. “I don’t think I told you that enough.”