The cacophony inside of me transforms into a symphony. There’s no warmup, no build; just instant, intricate, immeasurably beautiful music. The icy weather is a distant memory—every part of me is drowned in the most comfortable fire. I’m more aware of my body than I ever have been but also my entire world is narrowed down to Caleb’s lips on mine.

His fingers wind into my hair, clutching me closer to him, like I’m not the only one who’s wasted hours imagining raking my hands through his hair and down to his neck. I’m holding on to the back of his letterman jacket for dear life. Caleb is still moving with the momentum of walking to me—so quick and decisive—that we nearly tip over. One of his arms leaves my head to wrap around my torso, catching me, and I melt. That’s it. If I wasn’t a goner before, I sure as hell am now.

Minutes pass. Seconds. Entire centuries. It’s impossible to tell. With Caleb’s arm around me, I feel weightless, like if he lets go, I’ll float away into the starry night. There’s a perfect, cloudless sky where my brain should be. I’m dizzy. I’m faint.

Oh. I’m not breathing. Like, at all.

We separate, gasping for air, our breath creating a swirl of fog between our too-close faces. Caleb puts his other arm behind my back and I lean away to get a look at him. His face is red and I can’t tell if it’s from the cold or if he’s blushing but it doesn’t matter because his smile is enormous, reaching his eyes and beyond. His perfect hair flutters minutely in the frigid breeze and I give in to months—years—of repressed desire and touch my hand to the edge of his hairline. The gesture makes something in his smile soften and I’m embarrassed at giving in to the impulse.

“Hi,” he says again, leaning his cheek slightly into my palm as my hand moves down the side of his face.

“Hi.” I’m at a loss for anything profound to say but it doesn’t seem like Caleb cares. He’s looking at me like he just translated a particularly hard section of Latin and it makes me nervous. Unsure.

Oh, hey brain. Nice of you to rejoin the party, but could you give us a second, please?

“So…” I start, my head completely ignoring my heart’s plea for it to stay out of this, “you like me, huh?”

Caleb licks his lips and closes them around his teeth like he’s trying to hold in a laugh.

“Um, yeah.” He grins. “Is that not obvious? Wait—” A cloud passes over his expression. “Why are you nervous? Did I … was that not … good?”