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Lady's Knight

Amie Kaufman
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Interstitial
  4. Chapter OneThe sort of thing that gets a girl burned at the stake
  5. Chapter TwoRidiculously, fabulously pink
  6. Chapter ThreeBring it on
  7. Chapter FourSir Gawain’s not done yet . . . just watch
  8. Chapter FiveClimb down, lady, we’re going out!
  9. Chapter SixI’ll have a White Knight, please
  10. Chapter SevenChivalry is all well and good, but cursed inconvenient at times
  11. Chapter EightJust put her there
  12. Interstitial
  13. Chapter NineDon’t try to fight it, you’ll only hurt yourself
  14. Chapter TenNobody ever expects a lady to rappel off a balcony
  15. Chapter ElevenYou are the girl who would be a knight?
  16. Chapter TwelveMademoiselle le Chevalier
  17. Chapter ThirteenOff in search of adventure
  18. Interstitial
  19. Chapter FourteenHast Thou Ever . . .
  20. Chapter FifteenEverything is context
  21. Chapter SixteenShe was very much accustomed to people looking at her like they didn’t understand what was happening and wanted it all to stop
  22. Chapter SeventeenDamn those girls and their “tea”
  23. Chapter EighteenMaybe we could wash the donkeys
  24. Chapter NineteenA deer trying to hide in a pack of ravenous wolves
  25. Chapter TwentyJust don’t tell the other knights I screamed
  26. Chapter Twenty-OneDrop-your-cheesecake-on-a-stick-and-not-even-care spectacular
  27. Chapter Twenty-TwoThe violence is too much for her delicate constitution
  28. Chapter Twenty-ThreeNo lady went in search of the privy alone when she could bring a friend
  29. Chapter Twenty-FourDon’t bring it all the way undone . . .
  30. Chapter Twenty-FiveWhat a perfectly normal conversational gambit
  31. Chapter Twenty-SixA wild horse of feeling and emotion
  32. Interstitial
  33. Chapter Twenty-SevenI thought we’d have more time
  34. Chapter Twenty-EightYou are not the first to ask whether a woman could hold a sword
  35. Chapter Twenty-NineDo you yield?
  36. Chapter ThirtyThis goes a lot more smoothly in the ballads
  37. Chapter Thirty-OneDid that really just happen?
  38. Chapter Thirty-TwoDon’t tell me you’re scared, Sir Knight
  39. Chapter Thirty-ThreeThey’ll kill anyone who tries to upset the order of things
  40. Chapter Thirty-FourA girl who knows exactly who she is
  41. Chapter Thirty-FiveMeditations he learned on an ancient mountaintop
  42. Chapter Thirty-SixRide off into the sunset with nothing but a change of underwear
  43. Interstitial
  44. Chapter Thirty-SevenYou’d be very surprised by what a fancy lady can get done
  45. Chapter Thirty-EightI can show you a thing or two
  46. Chapter Thirty-NineIf I taught you to dream, then I was wrong
  47. Chapter FortyNo better than they are
  48. Interstitial
  49. Chapter Forty-OneThe crowd went wild
  50. Chapter Forty-TwoThe terrible sound of a thousand people not knowing what to say
  51. Chapter Forty-ThreeSomeone get this hysterical girl out of here!
  52. Chapter Forty-FourA foolish, reckless idiot with her head in the clouds
  53. Chapter Forty-Five. . . Or it’s tricky to put back together again
  54. Chapter Forty-SixIt came up from the mine
  55. Chapter Forty-SevenLike she’d ridden straight out of legend
  56. Chapter Forty-EightTwo wounded creatures, facing each other across the empty battlefield
  57. Interstitial
  58. Chapter Forty-NineYou were never alone
  59. Chapter FiftyNever Sende a Manne to Do a Woman’s Jobbe
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. About the Authors
  62. Back Ad
  63. Endorsements
  64. Books by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner
  65. About the Publisher

Cover

cover image

Dedication

For Freya.

You are never alone.

Interstitial

Imagine a castle.

You’ve probably done this before, but in case you need a bit more guidance, imagine there are towers and spires and jagged crenellations made of gray stone. Colorful pennants fly from the rooftops, bearing a vicious-looking bronze dragon against a scarlet backdrop. There’s a drawbridge on thick iron chains and a moat, because so long as we’re imagining a castle, we might as well imagine a cool one with a moat. Maybe there are even crocodiles in the moat—no one told you this had to be realistic, after all. If you want crocodiles, you can have them.

The castle sits on a slight hill, overlooking several acres of fields, kept clear to make sure no one can creep up on anyone inside the castle walls. At the base of the gently sloping grassy rise is a reasonably sized town spread out in a ring full of all the sorts of shops you might expect. Places to buy and sell equipment. An alchemist, tucked underneath a subtle sign bearing the mark of a hedge witch selling love potions. There’s the tavern, where all the heroes go to drink mead and recount their adventures, which sports a big sign proclaiming “On Thor’s Days We Have Ladyes Night.”

The streets are packed earth, and the buildings are roofed with thatch, and it all looks a bit nerve-rackingly flammable. This, by the way, is what people refer to as foreshadowing. But more on that later.

Today, it just so happens, is Market Day. The streets, already crowded with shops, have sprouted tents and stalls and colorfully draped wagons belonging to vendors from far and wide. The lord of the castle has recently reopened the gold mine on the other side of the forest, and the influx of wealth has brought every able-bodied and able-wagoned merchant for miles around to this spot. Every inch of space on the outskirts of the market is filled with horses and donkeys, as well as a pair of extremely anachronistic llamas. Nobody is sure who they belong to, and they spit if you go too close, so we’ll avoid them. Nobles and peasants alike walk down the haphazardly formed aisles of cloth and wagon wheels, while town criers offer to shout about the wares on display for a penny a word.

Market Day is always a riot of colors and sounds and the smells from baking treats and horse dung. But this time there’s a particular buzz in the air, and an extra dozen or two merchants crammed in among the regulars. It’s the last Market Day before the qualifiers begin for the Tournament of Dragonslayers—the first time it’s ever been held in the little county known as Darkhaven—and people are pretty well psyched.