BooksBarbecue
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Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Title Page
  5. Intoroduction
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EITHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. SIXTEEN
  22. SEVENTEEN
  23. EIGHTEEN
  24. NINETEEN
  25. TWENTY
  26. TWENTY-ONE
  27. TWENTY-TWO
  28. TWENTY-THREE
  29. TWENTY-FOUR
  30. TWENTY-FIVE
  31. TWENTY-SIX
  32. TWENTY-SEVEN
  33. TWENTY-EIGHT
  34. TWENTY-NINE
  35. THIRTY
  36. THIRTY-ONE
  37. THIRTY-TWO
  38. THIRTY-THREE
  39. THIRTY-FOUR
  40. THIRTY-FIVE
  41. THIRTY-SIX
  42. THIRTY-SEVEN
  43. THIRTY-EIGHT
  44. THIRTY-NINE
  45. FORTY
  46. FORTY-ONE
  47. FORTY-TWO
  48. FORTY-THREE
  49. FORTY-FOUR
  50. FORTY-FIVE
  51. FORTY-SIX
  52. FORTY-SEVEN
  53. FORTY-EIGHT
  54. FORTY-NINE
  55. FIFTY
  56. FIFTY-ONE
  57. FIFTY-TWO
  58. FIFTY-THREE
  59. FIFTY-FOUR
  60. FIFTY-FIVE
  61. FIFTY-SIX
  62. FIFTY-SEVEN
  63. FIFTY-EIGHT
  64. FIFTY-NINE
  65. SIXTY
  66. SIXTY-ONE
  67. SIXTY-TWO
  68. SIXTY-THREE
  69. SIXTY-FOUR
  70. SIXTY-FIVE
  71. SIXTY-SIX
  72. SIXTY-SEVEN
  73. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  74. CLIMATE EMERGENCY
  75. Copyright

I go inside for more beers and spend ages looking for a bottle opener so by the time I’m outside again he’s gone. I walk back in, sipping at one of my two bottles, and sidle through to the sitting room, trying not to look out of place amongst the crowd, music and smiling. The party has now moved inside, the walls heaving with a condensed mass of people.

Molly, a girl in our year, is kneeling down and fiddling with her iPhone. ‘Josh! Shit, how are you? What do you want to listen to, stranger? I’m on Jamie’s mum’s speakers. They’re awesome.’

I tell her the name of an old-ish song. It’s the first one that pops into my head, and I cringe as I say it. Music hasn’t been a big priority this last few years.

‘Classic!’ Molly shouts over the racket. There’s a second’s silence, then the song comes on. She jumps up and gives me a hug, then dances off to the middle of the room. I look around. I nod to a few familiar faces, then realise that Molly’s shouting at me.

She wants me to dance.

I smile and turn around, the weight building back up in my stomach. I try to get back to the kitchen but barrelling through the door at that moment are Will, Mike and Ben – all from the football team. The song was played a lot on a tour we went on together about four years ago, when we’d all just met at the start of secondary school. Ben grabs me around the waist, and I just about manage to keep my mouthful of beer inside my lips as I’m lifted up and planted firmly in the middle of the lounge. Will and Mike are on either side of me, jumping up and down to the music, singing along. Ben puts an arm across my shoulders, and soon we’re a big circle, singing and laughing and jumping up and down to the music.

There are scenes like this in a few of the naff movies I watch with my mum. Normally it’s the end of the film, or nearly, and all the characters are back together and at some kind of wedding or celebration or birthday that – at some point – they didn’t think they were going to get to. They all look at each other, raise their glasses and don’t speak. I didn’t think these things happened in real life. l thought that the glow you got in your stomach from just watching was as good as it got.

But tonight, I’m singing and laughing and jumping too.

TEN

TEN