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Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Title Page
  5. Intoroduction
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EITHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. SIXTEEN
  22. SEVENTEEN
  23. EIGHTEEN
  24. NINETEEN
  25. TWENTY
  26. TWENTY-ONE
  27. TWENTY-TWO
  28. TWENTY-THREE
  29. TWENTY-FOUR
  30. TWENTY-FIVE
  31. TWENTY-SIX
  32. TWENTY-SEVEN
  33. TWENTY-EIGHT
  34. TWENTY-NINE
  35. THIRTY
  36. THIRTY-ONE
  37. THIRTY-TWO
  38. THIRTY-THREE
  39. THIRTY-FOUR
  40. THIRTY-FIVE
  41. THIRTY-SIX
  42. THIRTY-SEVEN
  43. THIRTY-EIGHT
  44. THIRTY-NINE
  45. FORTY
  46. FORTY-ONE
  47. FORTY-TWO
  48. FORTY-THREE
  49. FORTY-FOUR
  50. FORTY-FIVE
  51. FORTY-SIX
  52. FORTY-SEVEN
  53. FORTY-EIGHT
  54. FORTY-NINE
  55. FIFTY
  56. FIFTY-ONE
  57. FIFTY-TWO
  58. FIFTY-THREE
  59. FIFTY-FOUR
  60. FIFTY-FIVE
  61. FIFTY-SIX
  62. FIFTY-SEVEN
  63. FIFTY-EIGHT
  64. FIFTY-NINE
  65. SIXTY
  66. SIXTY-ONE
  67. SIXTY-TWO
  68. SIXTY-THREE
  69. SIXTY-FOUR
  70. SIXTY-FIVE
  71. SIXTY-SIX
  72. SIXTY-SEVEN
  73. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  74. CLIMATE EMERGENCY
  75. Copyright

Mike tells me he knows a guy – a friend of his older brother – that Dana’s boyfriend put in hospital just before last Christmas. ‘He wasn’t there, my brother, but he said his mates were all back from their first term at uni, in the pub, the Green Man, you know? And one of them said something about British military intervention, or something like that. He wasn’t even talking to Dana’s boyfriend. and wasn’t anywhere near him, but apparently the guy crossed the pub and nearly took the back of his head off with a pint glass. He’s a psycho, Josh. Watch yourself, yeah?’

I find myself wincing as each person comes towards me, and before the afternoon’s lessons, I wait in the toilets for the corridors to go quiet before walking to English.

There’s a squealing in my ears all through the lesson and again I can’t concentrate. When Mrs Burgoyne asks me a question, I don’t hear her. The first I know of it is when the class start laughing. I think someone made a comment. Mrs Burgoyne is looking down at me. It’s definitely not the look. I have some trouble in placing it, despite having one eye half-closed. It’s a look I’ve not seen in a long time. It’s got a smile in it.

*

I shrug off the last few questioners at the end of school and walk home alone. No one seems keen to follow or walk with me; everyone probably thinks I’m just going back to normal after having a holiday from my solitude on Friday night. I walk the same road that I emerged onto in those gritty, early hours of Saturday morning and I pause, staring at the patch in the hedge that I vaguely recall pushing through.

Apart from a broken stinging nettle flopping out across the pavement like a trip-wire, you’d never know anyone had been through it.

FOURTEEN

FOURTEEN

The noise in the corridors and the noise in my head both quieten down as the week goes on. People seem to forget about what happened, or perhaps because I won’t talk about it they forget a bit quicker. Pretty soon, it’s Thursday.

I failed the Biology test. It wasn’t an important one, but since we started this year, all the teachers keep saying that everything is important, and that we can’t afford to fall asleep at the wheel, and that we must keep our eyes on the prize. Mr Walters is no different.

Despite our conversation a few weeks ago, when he said I was doing fine – better than fine – he pulls me to one side on my way out of his lesson.

‘Josh, I think it would be a good idea for you to come to the catch-up session after school today.’