Chapters (75)
- Cover
- Praise
- About the Author
- Title Page
- Intoroduction
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EITHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- THIRTY-SIX
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- THIRTY-NINE
- FORTY
- FORTY-ONE
- FORTY-TWO
- FORTY-THREE
- FORTY-FOUR
- FORTY-FIVE
- FORTY-SIX
- FORTY-SEVEN
- FORTY-EIGHT
- FORTY-NINE
- FIFTY
- FIFTY-ONE
- FIFTY-TWO
- FIFTY-THREE
- FIFTY-FOUR
- FIFTY-FIVE
- FIFTY-SIX
- FIFTY-SEVEN
- FIFTY-EIGHT
- FIFTY-NINE
- SIXTY
- SIXTY-ONE
- SIXTY-TWO
- SIXTY-THREE
- SIXTY-FOUR
- SIXTY-FIVE
- SIXTY-SIX
- SIXTY-SEVEN
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
- CLIMATE EMERGENCY
- Copyright
‘It’s the internet, Josh, not a closed circle. The Lions aren’t too bad, compared to some of them. A few marches, some fights. But the bigger groups keep upping the ante. Ahmed’s part of some kind of group that monitors far-right behaviour. He told me about it, and I can’t remember how it works exactly, but some of the reports coming in sound really scary. Coordinated attacks, firebombs, stuff that makes you feel sick. Or should. And they’re on the rise.’
The creature in my gut is writhing. I’m back in that imaginary well again, being dropped deeper and deeper, struggling to breathe. I keep doubting whether the world that I left at the top of the well is still there. Things are getting so unrecognisable, I’m beginning to wonder if the world that I left was ever really there at all.
Jamie continues, ‘If you know something, Josh, you need to do something about it.’
‘I know. I will. We will.’
‘We? Who’s “we”?’
‘Me and … Dana.’
‘Dana? Carl’s girlfriend Dana?’
‘She’s not his girlfriend. She’s…’
‘She’s not your girlfriend is she?’
‘Are you talking about Dana?’ Mum is standing in the doorway. I didn’t hear her come back down the stairs. ‘I didn’t know she was your girlfriend, Love?’
‘She’s not my girlfriend!’ All of my frustration pours out in one bellow.
Mum and Jamie are stunned into silence.
‘I … think I’ll be on my way, Mrs Milton.’
‘It was lovely to see you, Jamie. Have a happy New Year.’
‘You too, Mrs Milton.’
‘I’ll see you out,’ I mutter.
I walk with Jamie down the drive. At the pavement, he spins on his crutches. ‘Get some help, Josh. The police, that’s what they’re for. You don’t fix this on your own. Especially not… You’re not right at the moment. I thought you were, but…’
‘Yeah, so did everyone.’ I shrug my shoulders.
‘If you need me, you know where I am. OK?’
‘Yeah, thanks. I’ll sort it out. Get it sorted, I mean.’
‘Happy New Year, yeah?’
‘Yeah. Happy New Year.’
Yes, I do know where Jamie is. He’s safe. And that’s exactly where he needs to stay. At the top of the well.
FIFTY-FIVE
FIFTY FIVE
School goes back on a Thursday. My hand is a lot better. It still aches a bit, but I can pretty much move it normally. I can feel the stitches tugging a bit under the bandage, but it’s not as uncomfortable as it was.
Not because I want to, but to keep up appearances, I drag myself along to Mr Walters’ classroom at the end of the day. My legs get heavier with each step closer to the door.
I’m the first to arrive. Mr Walters looks up as I enter. ‘Happy New Year, Josh.’
I take up my usual seat.