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Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Title Page
  5. Intoroduction
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EITHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. SIXTEEN
  22. SEVENTEEN
  23. EIGHTEEN
  24. NINETEEN
  25. TWENTY
  26. TWENTY-ONE
  27. TWENTY-TWO
  28. TWENTY-THREE
  29. TWENTY-FOUR
  30. TWENTY-FIVE
  31. TWENTY-SIX
  32. TWENTY-SEVEN
  33. TWENTY-EIGHT
  34. TWENTY-NINE
  35. THIRTY
  36. THIRTY-ONE
  37. THIRTY-TWO
  38. THIRTY-THREE
  39. THIRTY-FOUR
  40. THIRTY-FIVE
  41. THIRTY-SIX
  42. THIRTY-SEVEN
  43. THIRTY-EIGHT
  44. THIRTY-NINE
  45. FORTY
  46. FORTY-ONE
  47. FORTY-TWO
  48. FORTY-THREE
  49. FORTY-FOUR
  50. FORTY-FIVE
  51. FORTY-SIX
  52. FORTY-SEVEN
  53. FORTY-EIGHT
  54. FORTY-NINE
  55. FIFTY
  56. FIFTY-ONE
  57. FIFTY-TWO
  58. FIFTY-THREE
  59. FIFTY-FOUR
  60. FIFTY-FIVE
  61. FIFTY-SIX
  62. FIFTY-SEVEN
  63. FIFTY-EIGHT
  64. FIFTY-NINE
  65. SIXTY
  66. SIXTY-ONE
  67. SIXTY-TWO
  68. SIXTY-THREE
  69. SIXTY-FOUR
  70. SIXTY-FIVE
  71. SIXTY-SIX
  72. SIXTY-SEVEN
  73. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  74. CLIMATE EMERGENCY
  75. Copyright

Just like the last time that Alan spoke about Dad, I feel myself growing hotter and hotter, unwilling to listen. But some of the words are starting to get through.

‘His sacrifice was the greatest that anyone can make, Josh. Do you know that?’

I feel myself nodding, the knot too tight in my throat to be able to speak.

‘To sacrifice yourself for a country that you love, a way of life you believe in. His name should be on the memorials, you know?’

Again, I nod.

‘And the worst thing we can do, Josh – the worst thing – is to forget that sacrifice. To let the vile, invidious bastards who want to change this country and our culture do so.’ There’s something about Alan’s words that sound rehearsed. Scripted almost. ‘They’re doing it from the inside out. You know that, you’ve read about it. It’s happening, right? Even here! In our little town! They’re here, Josh, and they’re trying to push us out. It makes me sick. Physically sick.’ Alan sits down again, he clinks his bottle against mine. ‘To your dad, Josh.’

Vince does the same.

I swallow the rest of the bottle in one gulp.

THIRTY-TWO

THIRTY TWO

I don’t know whose idea it is to go back to school, but while I’m upstairs changing again, Alan and Vince find a small bottle of vodka in the back of a cabinet in the lounge, and they pass it between themselves as we walk along the main road, giving me the occasional sip and pats on the back to aid my choking.

‘Right. Hardest punch you ever took,’ Alan says.

‘Easy,’ replies Vince. ‘Stepdad. Prick.’ He spits into the gutter.

‘Don’t think we need to ask Josh, do we?’ Alan laughs as he pats the side of my face, which is starting to go slightly numb. ‘Unless your dad ever hit you?’

I reel at this, stopping in my tracks and fixing Alan with a stare I didn’t know I had. ‘No.’

‘’Course not. He doesn’t look the type anyway.’

I haven’t stopped staring at him.

‘Hey, easy, Josh. Just asking. Friends? You’re lucky, you know. That he didn’t used to. Makes him a bit of a rarity, far as I’m concerned.’

We walk in silence for a minute or so before Alan continues.

‘For me it was Carl, too. Hey, you know what Josh? Carl said he didn’t expect you to get up after the first punch. When you did, he was a bit impressed, he said.’

I smile, despite myself.

‘Tough fucker aren’t you?’

‘Maybe. So why’d he hit you?’