BooksBarbecue
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Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Title Page
  5. Intoroduction
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EITHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. SIXTEEN
  22. SEVENTEEN
  23. EIGHTEEN
  24. NINETEEN
  25. TWENTY
  26. TWENTY-ONE
  27. TWENTY-TWO
  28. TWENTY-THREE
  29. TWENTY-FOUR
  30. TWENTY-FIVE
  31. TWENTY-SIX
  32. TWENTY-SEVEN
  33. TWENTY-EIGHT
  34. TWENTY-NINE
  35. THIRTY
  36. THIRTY-ONE
  37. THIRTY-TWO
  38. THIRTY-THREE
  39. THIRTY-FOUR
  40. THIRTY-FIVE
  41. THIRTY-SIX
  42. THIRTY-SEVEN
  43. THIRTY-EIGHT
  44. THIRTY-NINE
  45. FORTY
  46. FORTY-ONE
  47. FORTY-TWO
  48. FORTY-THREE
  49. FORTY-FOUR
  50. FORTY-FIVE
  51. FORTY-SIX
  52. FORTY-SEVEN
  53. FORTY-EIGHT
  54. FORTY-NINE
  55. FIFTY
  56. FIFTY-ONE
  57. FIFTY-TWO
  58. FIFTY-THREE
  59. FIFTY-FOUR
  60. FIFTY-FIVE
  61. FIFTY-SIX
  62. FIFTY-SEVEN
  63. FIFTY-EIGHT
  64. FIFTY-NINE
  65. SIXTY
  66. SIXTY-ONE
  67. SIXTY-TWO
  68. SIXTY-THREE
  69. SIXTY-FOUR
  70. SIXTY-FIVE
  71. SIXTY-SIX
  72. SIXTY-SEVEN
  73. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  74. CLIMATE EMERGENCY
  75. Copyright

There are a tense few seconds when things could go either way. I hold Carl’s stare through the headlights’ insistence.

It’s working. Carl looks away first. ‘Fine, it’s your mum upstairs. But if you see her, you know what to do.’

I nod. I’m nearly there. ‘Of course I do.’

‘And if I find out you’ve been lying, I mean it, after this business is done, I’m coming for you. And your mum if I need too.’

‘Fine, now get the fuck off my driveway. My neighbours’ curtains are twitching. I’m sure Martin wouldn’t want this whole thing brought crashing down because of your useless slut of a girlfriend.’

Carl stares at me for a few seconds – a cold, hard look. I am unflinching, unwavering, unmoving. Despite how much that hurt, I don’t move.

Nor do I move when he gets back into the car and guns the engine. The bumper quivers against my legs, but still I do not move. As the car leaps backwards, out onto the street, and the revs rise and fall away towards the main road, still I do not move.

The sound of the shower upstairs stops a full minute later. This brings me to my senses and I rush back through the front door, slamming it behind me. As I lean against it, my whole body begins to shake.

I take several deep breaths until I’m calm enough to support my own weight again, and with a hand against each wall for support, I make my way down the hallway to the kitchen and sit heavily in a chair.

When Dana comes in, a towel curled around her head, she finds me in the same pose. ‘I hope you don’t mind but I borrowed some of your clothes.’ She looks idly at the bag of salad on the sideboard, tosses it to one side, then sniffs the air.

‘Is something burning?’

SIXTY

SIXTY

We spend the evening eating lightly charred pizza in front of the TV, not speaking much. I try not to, but my eyes keep drifting across to her, stretched out on the couch in a pair of my old joggers and a hoodie. Her hair has dried curlier than it usually is, and in the soft light of the TV and the glow from the fire (she was amazed we had a working fireplace and insisted on using it) it shines a deep amber around her face.