He fetches another glass of water, even though I haven’t drunk the first one. I get comfy in bed, ready to wait it out. If I don’t get up I can’t die. I will not go anywhere or answer the door to anyone. I’ll just stay exactly where I am and when I wake up tomorrow it might be a new day.

Every time I go to school, no matter what I do, I end up at Beachview. If I don’t leave the house, then I won’t. It feels like a logical, achievable thing.

‘You can go to work,’ I tell Dad imperiously from my fake sickbed.

I hear Gus bundling him out of the door, even though he’s saying things like, ‘But if there’s norovirus in the house … and I need to look after Joe …’

I know there isn’t norovirus in the house, and Gus does too, and Dad does as well really. I hear the door slam, in the end, and then Gus’s footsteps on the stairs.

‘Why are you faking it?’ he says, standing in the doorway of my room.

‘I’m not faking.’

‘Joseph.’

‘I don’t feel well. So I don’t want to go on the trip. Imagine being seasick and real sick at the same time.’

‘Bullshit. Actual reason?’

I sigh. I can’t think of a single thing that will work. I need to avoid saying anything that might get me taken to the emergency doctor at Beachview.

‘I just feel a bit depressed,’ I tell him, which is true enough. ‘I want a day lying in bed. Or on the sofa. I just want to watch telly all day. I …’ I hesitate. Could this work? ‘I miss Mum. Do you think she’d have made me go to school?’

‘Yeah. You wouldn’t have fooled her for a second. You fooled Dad because he never lies to anyone, and the kids he looks after are too little to be good at being sneaky, so that kind of thing isn’t on his radar. He’s an innocent. Seriously, though – you’re staying home because you miss Mum? What are you, three?’

I nod to both questions. Yes, I miss Mum. Yes, I’m three. If today doesn’t work I could grab my passport and go and find her. India would be far enough from Beachview, surely?

All I’ll need is hundreds of pounds for the plane ticket, and enough money to get to the airport, and probably a visa (none of which I have). My mind is leaping all over the place. Should I bolt and catch a train? Could I get myself far enough away to be out of danger at four o’clock? I don’t care what happens after five fifteen.

I’ll try that if this doesn’t work.