‘You know, Jojo,’ he says, ‘I can see you’re feeling anxious.’ He looks stricken. I remember how I used to be, and try to step back into that Joe. I smile, attempt a swagger.

‘Nah,’ I say. ‘Not really. I was just trying to get in touch with my empathetic side. Mrs Dupont told us to do that.’

What the hell am I even saying? Still, it seems to work. His face relaxes a bit.

‘Sure? Mrs Dupont is a wise woman. Are you missing Mum? I can see how much you wish she was here right now, to wave you off to France. Sorry she’s not, mate.’

‘Yes,’ I say, and he’s right. Mum is not here, on this day, and that means I haven’t seen her for twenty years. I wish with all my heart that she could have still been at home on 11 March. I work hard to stay in my persona as old-Joe, even as I realize that I can hardly remember my mother. She has long hair and dark eyes. She wears floaty clothes. I haven’t seen her for twenty years. I will never see her again. The day she went away was the last day of my life when I had a mother.

She’s in India (I think? I can’t remember much of the past any more) and now I’ll never see her again.

If she was here maybe this wouldn’t happen.

I shake my head. There’s no way I can blame the one person who has nothing to do with this. She’s miles away: this isn’t her fault.

‘She’ll be back,’ Dad says. ‘You know that. But before then: the French exchange! You’ll have a blast.’ I see him searching around for an appropriate phrase in French, but not finding one. ‘Comme çi, comme ça,’ he says instead. ‘Voilà! L’addition, s’il vous plaît!’

I give him a blast of the most sincere smile I can manage, and do a little dance for some reason. A kind of jig on the spot that looks stupid, but this is Dad and it’s the sort of thing he likes.

‘Vraiment bien,’ I say. I’m not at all scared about the French exchange because I’m not going. ‘It’ll be fine,’ I say. ‘Interesting. I mean, it’s going to be weird, right? But also I’m staying with my friend Enzo in France and that’ll be cool.’

‘That’s the spirit. Good. So I’ll see you before you go, and then you’ll be home before we know it.’

Gus comes down the stairs noisily.

‘You still here?’ he says to Dad, who looks at his watch and says, ‘Bums!’

‘Bums?’ I say.

Dad shrugs.