‘Out of kindness,’ she says. She looks into my face with that unnerving expression parents have. I turn away.

‘Joe?’ she says. ‘You’re different. You’re a bit different every time I see you. What’s happening?’

I stare at the roof of the train, which has a stain on it. How do you stain a train ceiling? It’s brown and splattery. A shaken-up can of Coke maybe?

‘I miss Ariel,’ I say to the ceiling. ‘But I’m making my peace with this. I think it’s working. I mean, I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m in love with someone who hadn’t even been born when I died, but who’s already overtaken me. Who I can’t see any more, or I’ll waste her life as well as mine. But every day I hope she’ll visit me, and she never does.’

‘Oh, darling.’

‘She’s studying for exams I never took. It’s a two-year course and she’s almost at the end of it. I only got to do the first six months. It’s a headfuck.’

‘A fucking headfuck.’ Lara squeezes my hand.

‘I’m not waiting any more. I know I’m not going to disappear into some heavenly afterlife. We’re stuck here. For literally eternity. I’m getting my head round it. I’m feeling OK, considering. Settling in. I’m learning Italian. Va bene.’

‘Are you keeping track of what day it is?’ she asks. ‘In 2019, I mean.’

‘Yeah. Only by living my seven-day cycle. That way I always kind of know what Ariel’s doing too, somewhere out there.’

‘You do love her.’

‘I mean, she needs to meet someone with prospects.’ If I had tears, I’d be close to crying right now.

‘Oh, Joe!’

‘Pathetic, right?’

Lara hugs me, and I take a lot of comfort from the fact that we have a shared eternity. I don’t want to talk about myself any more, so I ask about Josh, and sit back and let her talk all the way to Reading.

I crash Mum’s dojo. She drives me home for emergency medical care. I take comfort from her too. I can do this. I have to. My eternity is, at least, going to be populated by the best people.

When we’re about halfway home, I say, ‘I met a girl, Mum. It’s a bit complicated, but I really love her.’

She lights up. She looks so happy that it really is as if someone switched a light on inside her body.

‘Joe! That’s wonderful. Where does she live? Does she go to your school?’