‘Yeah. You two are obviously fine, but you know the kids in your lessons who can’t quite pull it together? The ones who don’t have best friends and who kick about on their own? It’s shit being a teenager. At least it was for me. I wanted a mate, and I wanted it to be Joe, and he thought I was an embarrassment and a twat, but I kept trying and he kept telling me why I was shit. Bit pathetic really. When he disappeared, it had a huge effect on me. Altered my life forever. I don’t want to make it all about me because it’s not. It’s about Joe and his family, but I still had to find a way to live with it. You know what I mean? We all did. They can give you a counsellor to talk to and whatever, but as far as I was concerned it didn’t scratch the surface. I fell apart. I don’t think you’d have known it to look at me, but I did.

‘I was gutted. I mean, more than gutted. Gutted is when they give you the wrong syrup in your frappuccino. I was devastated. My life stopped, but I still had to carry on.’

He looked at us over the top of his drink. I waited for him to say more, but he didn’t.

‘Sometimes the people who look like they’re holding things together actually aren’t,’ I said. ‘I mean, you said we look like we have no problems, but my mum died last year, and my dad ran away, and I live with my sister who’s pregnant.’

‘Oh! Sorry,’ he said, looking a bit thrown. ‘I just meant –’

‘And I literally just came out to Ariel on the train this morning,’ said Izzy unexpectedly.

I took her hand and squeezed it. We grinned at each other.

‘Oh God. Sorry again. I didn’t mean to be flippant.’

‘But what about Joe?’ I said. ‘He had Troy and his dad and Gus. And his mum. Though his parents have divorced since then. Do you think he was struggling in secret?’

‘Did he “do something stupid”, you mean?’ Lucas made air quotes with his fingers. ‘No, I don’t think he did, though of course you can never know. But here’s why I think he didn’t: he would have left a note. He was close to his family. No way would he have done it without leaving one. And also what about his body?’

Lucas was saying all the right things. We’d ambushed him and he seemed interested and helpful, rather than guilty or nervous. Also, I had seen Joe being horrible to him with my own eyes. I didn’t want to make him go into that, but it must have meant his feelings were complicated.

Izzy leaned forward and asked the most important question of all.