I stayed for half an hour, but it was no good. I was almost completely certain no one was there, and even though I didn’t think anyone was watching me I felt I was starting to look super conspicuous. It was only when I’d definitely decided to leave that I felt confident enough to ring the doorbell, just so I could tell Joe I’d tried. I looked at the things inside the front window. There were the backs of some birthday cards. I took a quick photo and then, to my horror, I heard footsteps approaching from inside the house. I shoved my phone back into my pocket and tried to calm my thudding heart as the door opened, and someone was standing in front of me, looking surprised.

This made no sense at all.

‘Ariel?’ she said.

‘Oh,’ I said. I tried to think of something to say, but I had nothing. ‘Sorry. Wrong house.’

‘Wrong house?’ said my French teacher, and she raised an elegant eyebrow.

Ms Duke lived in Joe’s old house. I filed this away to think about later because right now I was skipping school and had literally knocked on the door of a teacher. Who, come to think of it, seemed to be skipping school herself.

I made up a story on the spot, trying to piece it together as I went, hoping that my mouth would come out with some plausible explanation under pressure.

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘I didn’t know you lived here or I wouldn’t have knocked. I was …’ I paused. ‘I hadn’t planned on seeing a teacher, so I’m going to have to fess up.’

Think of something, Ariel. Say something good.

‘I didn’t go to school because I was feeling so bad.’ I remembered that I was allowed to say shit to her.

‘So shit,’ I said. ‘Don’t tell Sasha, but I called the absence office and pretended to be her. But please don’t grass me up. It’s the first time I’ve done it. And then I was just walking around and, I mean, I think I was having a bit of a panic attack, and I bought a huge bottle of Coke to give me some energy and then I needed the loo and I was pretty sure this is the house where Izzy’s aunt lives and she doesn’t work at the moment as she’s got little kids, so I was just hoping I had the right place and that she’d let me use her toilet.’

I attempted a smile. Seriously, Ariel? Best story? ‘But not only is it clearly the wrong house, but it’s your house. Sorry. I guess that means I’m busted.’

I ventured a look at her at this point. She was laughing.