‘I mean, obviously Jemima didn’t kill me, but I’d like to know what she’s like now. Not just the facts about her kids and that. But how she actually is. I hope she’s happy. She deserves to be. The other big one was Marco. That was weird, probably because I was second-guessing my feelings all the time. It was like: am I gay? Am I straight? Am I both? Help!’

I hadn’t expected this. ‘Marco Mancini. He’s a director.’

‘Yeah. I was totally not expecting to have those feelings for a boy. We had an intense friendship. Then we kissed twice, and I got scared, and I was so confused because I didn’t know if I was straight or gay.’

I started to speak, but Joe waved his hand. ‘I know. I know it’s not that clear-cut, but I wanted it to be. I mean, you fall in love twice in your short life, and it’s one boy and one girl?’

I saw his eyes fill with tears and realized mine were doing the same.

‘I don’t know what I would be like now,’ he says. ‘If I was thirty-five. You can look people up and find out what’s happened, but no one can look me up because I’m still fifteen. Marco’s a director. Jemima has kids and an Esty shop. What am I? It’s not fair.’

‘Not fair at all,’ I managed to say.

‘Your turn,’ he said, wiping his eyes with his sleeve and turning his huge eyes on me. I wanted to kiss him so much. I wanted us to hold each other and look after each other.

This is different from the shallow fancying him that I did when we first met, before we realized. This is deeper and, under the circumstances, absolutely terrifying.

‘I had a boyfriend for a bit,’ I said. ‘Jack. Jack Lockett. He’s completely gorgeous, but we broke up when Mum got ill. It was fun, but not intense. It was more that we had a laugh and he was a brilliant friend. Jack’s a skateboarder. He’s cool. I know he’d go out with me again tomorrow if I was up for it. But when Mum got sick I couldn’t do anything like that any more, so it really was a case of “it’s not you, it’s me”. But, Joe? I’m glad you’ve had those experiences. And another thing: honestly you can be whoever you want and no one’s going to judge you. If they do, then fuck ’em. Seriously, here in 2019 you really can be whatever you like. Your life. Your rules.’

‘I just wish I could get there,’ he said.

It was nearly time to go and I knew that it was time to ask.