She speaks of the deregularisation of everything. Of the resinking of the Titanic. She speaks of the time that the soldiers came in the middle of the night and rounded up the whole ‘British Happy Family of Showbiz’ and shot them all – Tarby clinging to ‘Babs’ Windsor, Chris Evans, Wolf Man, Shane Richie, Leg Blackston, Paula, Brucie, Pinky and Parky, Emma Thomson and the other one and Sting and Sunny Peterson and all the rest of them in deep shitpop – as the cattle trucks trucked and tucked them into oblivion of roadside shallow graves. Imagine the scene like that bit in ‘The Greaty ESCAPE’ (PAL EuroVision X Cert) – they all get let out to ‘stretch legs’ – Lenny Henry is talking to some old timer (R_____ ) and the cops (pigs) put the guns on a tripod and mow the fuckers down. (“I done the earth a favour . . .”)

*

Carmen asleep.

In the dream she tries to draw an outline of the nation (Endland).

Green eyes frank with ‘concentration’ ©.

But the biro-shape she makes changes, amoeba-like, shifting and pulsing, some science experiment (a biology class in Winter 1989) – incorporation of cities, demolition of borders, erosion of space-time – trams in the streets, Tsars re-instated – Walt Disney a symbolic head of state.

Fed up of white noise. You don’t even know your OWN history how can I tell you mine?

The dream comes to an abrupt end – a videofit man pointing a sawn off shotgun at Carmen – the angel of death that haunts all of them dreams – everybody knows the routine – C sticks her thumb in the barrel of it (the shotgun) to stop the explosion . . . the bullets fire, the gun swells rapidly, bursts, showering soot on the shooter and noise in the bedroom/jail cell of her morning.

Everytime I try to write gun I write gin.

Endland DREAMING.

*

Carmen loses her name. In jail they call her DEATH.

*

One night C/D leaves her cell – slipping between the bars like anorexics can.

The phone in the hallway rings.

She answers it. Not really thinking ‘guess who’ – as obvious to her as it is to anyone else.

White noise on the phone.

(By accident I am typing white noose, or white nose . . .)

01111 10000 1000901001000101111000110

010101010000 101010 0101010100 101010 0010

01010101010100000101010000001011101101010101010

01010100 01010 01010 0101010 01000010101010101101

010101010 10101111100101010101010101001000010101

0111101010111101001110001110011010100101

*

carmen

*

What the phone call said.

History of Endland continued in 26 illus episodes. Vile threats and early closing, free binders and 2 dogs locked up in back of cars. Shoot to kill and free milk. 2 idiots living in a museum. Because septic pub shit, because weather and sex in an igloo tent, sick in a chemical toilet and “reform” of “welfare” “state” (word for faeces, four letters, C-something-A-something).

*