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Back Endland Save as PDF
Chapters (48)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Introduction
  4. Endland
  5. About Lisa
  6. Shame Of Shane
  7. Who would dream that truth was lies?
  8. Eve & Mary
  9. Chaikin/Twins
  10. James
  11. The Shell Garages History Of Mud
  12. Kelly
  13. Morton & Kermit
  14. Crash Family Robinson
  15. Wendy’s Daughter
  16. Void House
  17. Jonesey
  18. Killing Of Frank
  19. Arse on Earth
  20. The life, movies & short times of Natalie Gorgeous
  21. German Fokker
  22. Carmen by Bizet
  23. They get you most all gone when you always alone
  24. It is murky and opaque
  25. intentions seem good
  26. Cellar Story
  27. I thought I smelled something dirty
  28. Last of the First 11
  29. The Ant and The Grasshopper
  30. The Chapter
  31. Mission of Jobbin
  32. wanted to get a good look
  33. Taxi Driver
  34. Loose Promise
  35. The children of the rich
  36. The Waters Rising
  37. #Dibber
  38. Long Fainting/Try Saving Again
  39. BureauGrotesque
  40. Anger is Just Sadness Turned Inside Out
  41. Maxine
  42. For the Avoidance of Doubt
  43. now not moving
  44. A Note about Endland
  45. Acknowledgements
  46. Dear readers
  47. This book was made possible thanks to the support of:
  48. About the Author

Lisa changes her name by deed poll. She calls herself something more suited to her age, race, sex and occupation. She calls herself SILENCE.

And from that moment on she lives up to her name.

Shame Of Shane

Shame Of Shane

Once upon a time there was a mad biker, a dope dealing Grebo from Derby called Shane. Shane went in a pub where the barman’s name was Meniscus on account of how full he liked to fill the glasses with shandy and ale.

Shane was a thief, a misogynist and an intellectual pygmy. Meniscus was his friend.

*

On each third sequential Thursdays in the above mentioned pub they contrived to run a semi-legal Karaoke-lock-in with Meniscus as the compere.

Such nites were a great laugh and indeed Shane would gladly oblige all with a song. BRIDGE OF THE RIVER KAWAI by Vermin was one of his popular choices and his rendering of BUTCHER HEAD by Carlo Verbatim Alfonso is still a urban legend amongst the assorted biker scum and wanker proletariat of that area.

*

SHANE + MENISCUS = TROUBLE

someone had wrote up in the wrecking yard of a old factory in Endland (sic) and this equation pretty well summed things up.

GENERAL HOSPITAL someone else had written on the same wall.

TRUMP TOWER and YOUR FLESH IS NIGHT.

*

To tell the truth Shane never had much luck like for example the time he arranged to meet some biker mates to go to a disco. Shane set off to the disco on foot but soon got lost and came to a clearing in the woods where a woodsman’s cottage stood.

Nosy, full of fools pride and lager, Shane went inside despite the signs which told him not to and upstairs he found a beautiful woman asleep in a bed.

Shane thought his luck was in.

*

PATH BLOCKED BY SLEEPING PRINCESS – it said on the wall of the room indicating the true nature of his entrapment – THROW A SIX TO CONTINUE.

Shane spent nine hours rolling the dice, unable to get a six in mounting frustration and missed the fucking disco.

*

Shane’s bike was a souped up NORTON INTERCOURSE 650 and when he road it in the mountains, with other bikers trailing behind him on their CARPARK COMMANDO 250s, then he felt free.

Shane had a woman (skirt) called Donkey on account of how many people had ridden her on the beach one night. Shane loved Donkey, at least so far as he understood the idea at all and anywhere he went she travelled pillion on his bike. Together with a load (outlaw posse) of other bikers they all went off in the hills of Nevada.

*

That night at Edale when the big hand was on the 2 and the little hand was on the nine Donkey walked away from the pack at biker campfire a little way and sat down.