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Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

I feel the tiniest spark of hope as I remember what my mother said the other night when she took my phone – No girls until after your GCSEs – and I give into the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

‘Of course she will. She just needs a minute. My mother’s first reaction is to say no to everything. Then she thinks about it for a couple of days and comes around. I mean, if she’s like that about me going to the cinema with Adara, it’s gonna take more than a couple of days for her to come around to me being gay.’

I laugh and when Poppy does the same, she’s back to her usual playful self.

‘Are you gonna tell her about me?’

‘When there’s something to tell.’

Her smile sharpens into a smirk. ‘I like a challenge. So are you . . .’

‘A lesbian?’ I finish her thought with a nod. ‘Yeah. I thought I was bi for a while, but that’s only because Zayn Malik had me fucked up for a minute there. Then I realised he was the only one.’ I shrug again. ‘You?’

‘Same. I’m strictly clitly.’

‘Poppy!’ I gasp, covering my mouth with my free hand.

‘What?’ She cackles shamelessly as we turn and walk up Kensington Gardens, her hand still in mine. ‘That’s what I led with when I told my parents.’

‘So you’re out as well?’

‘Yeah. I told them last year. Apparently, fifteen is the right age to tell your daughter about the birds and the bees. So I said they shouldn’t bother telling me about the bees, just the birds.’

I can’t help but laugh at that. ‘What happened?’

‘They weren’t surprised.’ She lifts her shoulder and lets it drop again. ‘My father always assumed my best friend Charlotte and I were, you know.’ She waggles her eyebrows. ‘But we were just close, like you and Adara. That’s why I’ve only come out to a few friends I trust. I go to an all-girls’ boarding school, don’t I?’ She turns to me, eyes wide. ‘I don’t want everyone to think I fancy them just because I’m talking to them.’

I get that.

‘I can’t complain.’ She flicks her hair with another shrug. ‘My parents reacted exactly how they should have. They were kind and compassionate and let me know that they still loved me and I know Mum does. She has such an open mind. She knows that the earth is just a pale-blue dot on a limitless cosmic canvas. If she knows that, how can she not consider the possibility that somewhere out there, there’s another species, just like us, that, when they’re born, they’re not told that they’re male or female or heterosexual or whatever and are just allowed to work it out for themselves. Wouldn’t that be nice?’

It would.