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Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

She mutters something in Guyanese, scurrying over to the sink to clap the roti. I stuff the last piece of mine into my mouth, hoping it’s for me, but she puts it on another plate.

‘Roshaan!’ she calls out to my little sister as she washes her hands then goes back to the stove to check the gas is off. ‘OK. The roti’s done. It should still be warm by the time Daddy gets home.’ She points at the oven then at the saucepans on the stove. ‘So all you have to do is reheat the curry, dhal, rice and bora.’

‘I think I can manage that.’

‘Roshaan!’ she calls out again, then mutters something about needing to get ready for work. As she passes me, she stops suddenly and glares at me, her eyes wide. ‘Ashana!’ she spits, grabbing my ponytail with her hand and yanking it towards her so she can smell it. When she lets go of it, she looks so angry that my heart jumps up into my mouth and cowers on my tongue. ‘Have you been smoking, Ashana?’

‘Of course not!’ I sniff my ponytail. ‘It’s the smoke from the boat engine.’

I wait for her to warn me that I’d better not start smoking, but she’s even more angry. ‘What boat?’

‘The one to the wind farm.’

‘You were on a boat?’ She goes from zero to furiously making the sign of the cross in about three seconds, as though I’ve just told her that Mr Moreno took us base jumping off Beachy Head.

‘The wind farm’s in the middle of the sea. How did you think we were getting there? Teleportation?’

‘Why didn’t you tell me, Ashana?’

I try not to roll my eyes as she makes the sign of the cross again, thanking God for keeping me safe.

And I’m the dramatic one?

‘Ashana! Do you know what your grandmother would say if she knew that I’d let you go on a boat?’

I dread to think.

‘You’re my daughter! Don’t I have to give my consent for you to go on a boat?’

‘Daddy signed the permission slip.’

‘You know he doesn’t read those things.’

‘I asked you first, but you told me to ask him to sign it.’

‘No boats, Ashana.’ She holds a finger up to me. ‘You could fall off and die. I’ve seen it happen.’

‘You’ve seen people falling off boats?’

‘Yes. In A&E. Those that made it to A&E, anyway.’ When I hear her voice go from sharp to high, I stop pulling a face at her as I realise that she isn’t actually angry with me, she’s concerned. ‘The floor of the sea is littered with the bodies of foolish teenage girls who didn’t listen to their mothers and went on boats.’

Nice.