Chapters (86)
- Title Page
- CONTENTS
- Love
- Before
- One
- ONE
- Two
- TWO
- Three
- THREE
- Four
- FOUR
- Five
- FIVE
- Six
- SIX
- Seven
- SEVEN
- Eight
- EIGHT
- Nine
- NINE
- Ten
- TEN
- Eleven
- ELEVEN
- After
- One
- ONE
- Two
- TWO
- Three
- THREE
- Four
- FOUR
- Five
- FIVE
- Six
- SIX
- Seven
- SEVEN
- Eight
- EIGHT
- Nine
- NINE
- Ten
- TEN
- Eleven
- ELEVEN
- Twelve
- TWELVE
- Thirteen
- THIRTEEN
- Fourteen
- FOURTEEN
- Fifteen
- FIFTEEN
- Sixteen
- SIXTEEN
- Seventeen
- SEVENTEEN
- Eighteen
- EIGHTEEN
- Nineteen
- NINETEEN
- Twenty
- TWENTY
- Twenty-One
- TWENTY-ONE
- Twenty-Two
- TWENTY-TWO
- Twenty-Three
- TWENTY-THREE
- Twenty-Four
- TWENTY-FOUR
- Twenty-Five
- TWENTY-FIVE
- Twenty-Six
- TWENTY-SIX
- Twenty-Seven
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- Twenty-Eight
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- Eleven Months Later
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
- Copyright
It isn’t a question and we both know it.
Esen raises her eyebrows as if to say, Good luck then she and Dev head for the door.
The bell rings and they’re gone, leaving me alone with Deborah, who is watching me over her glasses.
‘Is there something you want to tell me, Ash?’
Don’t tell her.
Don’t tell her.
‘Did something happen tonight?’
Don’t tell her.
‘Nothing.’ I press my lips together in case I say anything else.
‘Are you sure?’
Don’t tell her.
I think about Poppy, outside the Komedia, and I can feel the words lining up on my tongue.
‘I saw someone I know tonight.’
It’s out of my mouth before I can stop it, the words flying around the bookshop like startled moths.
She takes off her glasses and looks at me. ‘Who?’
‘Just someone I went to school with.𠆚
‘You didn’t approach them, did you?’
‘Of course not.’
She nods, returning to the pile of books. ‘Good.’
That’s all she says – Good – and that’s the end of the conversation, as she puts her glasses back on and picks the first book from the pile, grimacing at the cover.
I should be pleased, I know, pleased that I got away with it and she doesn’t want to know more, but I can’t stop myself from pushing even though I know what she’s going to say.
‘It just freaked me out,’ I go on, tucking my hands into the pockets of my leather jacket and looking down at my feet with a small shrug. ‘That they didn’t recognise me when I was right there.’
‘Why would they recognise you?’ I look up to find Deborah watching me, clearly concerned with where I’m going with this. ‘Why the sudden curiosity, Miss Persaud? You know they can’t see you as you were before.’
‘Really? Never?’
‘Never,’ she says tightly, going back to the books, shuffling through them and picking one out from the middle of the pile. ‘No one sees a grim reaper, really sees one, until it’s their time. But you know this.’ She opens the book then immediately closes it again and puts it down on the counter. ‘So why are you asking?’
‘I’m just curious,’ I say carefully, like I’m stroking a stray cat that may turn on me at any moment.
‘About what?’
‘About what would have happened tonight if my friend had recognised me.’
She takes her glasses off and exhales heavily. ‘Well, it’s a good thing they didn’t.’
‘Why?’ I stop and press my lips together as I try to swallow the words back, but I can’t contain them any longer, they’re too big – too heavy – to hold in. ‘Because that means they’re going to die?’