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Chapters (86)
  1. Title Page
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Love
  4. Before
  5. One
  6. ONE
  7. Two
  8. TWO
  9. Three
  10. THREE
  11. Four
  12. FOUR
  13. Five
  14. FIVE
  15. Six
  16. SIX
  17. Seven
  18. SEVEN
  19. Eight
  20. EIGHT
  21. Nine
  22. NINE
  23. Ten
  24. TEN
  25. Eleven
  26. ELEVEN
  27. After
  28. One
  29. ONE
  30. Two
  31. TWO
  32. Three
  33. THREE
  34. Four
  35. FOUR
  36. Five
  37. FIVE
  38. Six
  39. SIX
  40. Seven
  41. SEVEN
  42. Eight
  43. EIGHT
  44. Nine
  45. NINE
  46. Ten
  47. TEN
  48. Eleven
  49. ELEVEN
  50. Twelve
  51. TWELVE
  52. Thirteen
  53. THIRTEEN
  54. Fourteen
  55. FOURTEEN
  56. Fifteen
  57. FIFTEEN
  58. Sixteen
  59. SIXTEEN
  60. Seventeen
  61. SEVENTEEN
  62. Eighteen
  63. EIGHTEEN
  64. Nineteen
  65. NINETEEN
  66. Twenty
  67. TWENTY
  68. Twenty-One
  69. TWENTY-ONE
  70. Twenty-Two
  71. TWENTY-TWO
  72. Twenty-Three
  73. TWENTY-THREE
  74. Twenty-Four
  75. TWENTY-FOUR
  76. Twenty-Five
  77. TWENTY-FIVE
  78. Twenty-Six
  79. TWENTY-SIX
  80. Twenty-Seven
  81. TWENTY-SEVEN
  82. Twenty-Eight
  83. TWENTY-EIGHT
  84. Eleven Months Later
  85. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  86. Copyright

When I turn back to Esen, I can tell that she’s trying not to laugh. ‘How’s it going, Dev?’

‘I was just mauled by a cat.’ She points down at her ripped tights.

Then it’s my turn to try not to laugh.

Good old Dorito.

‘And she . . .’ Dev stops and stands next to me. I arch an eyebrow as if to say, She what? and she presses her lips together, not finishing the thought. ‘Well,’ she says instead, adjusting her teddy-bear coat. ‘Let’s just say that it hasn’t been as easy to persuade her to come back to the bookshop as I thought it would be.’

Esen raises her eyebrows at her. ‘Shocking.’

Dev peers at her from under her fringe, clearly unamused.

‘OK,’ Esen says. ‘You go do my reap at the station and I’ll handle this.’

‘Fine.’ Dev huffs, smoothing down her bob with her hands. ‘I’ll see you back at the bookshop.’

She stomps off towards the mini-mart and I should be doing the same, but I just watch until she disappears and the road is empty again. When I turn back, Esen is still there, her hands in the pockets of her heavy black coat.

‘So,’ she says, rocking back and forth on her heels. ‘This home, then?’

I wait for it, the sudden flare of fury – fury and fear and confusion – that I’ve been feeling since I woke up on the sofa in the bookshop, but there’s nothing. It’s as though it’s burned out. If you cut me open, there would be nothing left – no fire, just smoke – and I’m really trying not to cry.

‘I just want to let them know I’m OK.’ I cross my arms. ‘The lights are on, but no one’s answering.’

She thinks about that for a moment then nods. ‘OK.’

She starts walking towards the door to Kingfisher Court. When she realises that I haven’t followed, she stops and turns back to me. ‘Well, come on, then.’

I hesitate, suspicious of why she’s being so accommodating when all Dev wanted me to do was go back to the bookshop, but curiosity gets the better of me.

When we get to the door, she gestures to the security pad and I put in the code, my hand shaking even more this time. There’s a dull buzz and she opens it, heading for the lifts and pressing the Up button.

‘They’re not working,’ I tell her, thumbing at the door to the stairwell.

‘And you live on the first floor, right?’ she asks, hopefully.

‘The sixth.’

‘Of course you do.’

Esen follows me this time, not that she’s in any rush to. To be fair, I’m not feeling the same urgency I did when I first got here, either, as I hold on to the handrail and haul myself up the stairs.