Have I? I’m not so sure at all. And perhaps this is where I admit to myself that everything has been focussed on having a baby over the last year and I don’t know where the time has gone, but I can’t think that I’ve done anything else of great note. I couldn’t even amuse myself for a day. What am I going to do if Jake takes months to come to his senses or get dumped?

Pip gulps down his coffee and then slowly spoons the last remnants of froth from his cup. ‘What do women do while they wait for their loved ones to return?’

‘In Jake’s case, I think I should sharpen knives.’

‘Didn’t they used to sit in rocking chairs and knit?’

‘I haven’t got a rocking chair and I can’t knit.’

‘There must be a modern equivalent.’

‘They go to the gym. Learn to scuba dive…’

‘Take a lover,’ Pip suggests.

That makes me laugh. ‘Are you volunteering?’

‘Absolutely. It would certainly rattle a few cages.’

It might increase my chances of getting pregnant too, I think before being horrified at myself for even letting it cross my mind.

‘I’ll sleep with you if you tell me where Jake is and with who.’

‘If I thought that was a serious offer,’ Pip says, ‘I might very well be tempted.’

‘As it is, you’re not going to tell me anything else.’

‘No.’ Pip is very firm. ‘And I’d be grateful if you didn’t tell Jake that you’ve been here. I do have to work with him, Lyssa. This…this…fling is causing me enough grief as it is.’

‘It’s causing me quite a bit too.’

‘If I can do anything…’ he says. ‘Anything.’

I flutter my eyelashes at him even though it feels as though I’m blinking over sandpaper.

‘Apart from completely grass up a mate,’ he adds when he sees my look.

‘I’d better be going,’ I say. ‘I feel incredibly foolish.’ I push myself from the table and suddenly am overcome by weariness again. ‘I love him very much.’

Pip comes over and kisses me on the cheek.

‘Then Jake’s the one who’s very foolish,’ he says and he pulls me to him in a bear hug. At which point I break down and really, really sob.

Chapter fifteen

Chapter fifteen

So. If I’m not going to drop Pip in the deep brown smelly stuff then there’s only one thing for it. I have to catch Jake at it. Not too much at it. I don’t want to see bottoms going up and down. Just a little bit at it will do.