BooksBarbecue
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Chapters (84)
  1. Chapter one
  2. Chapter two
  3. Chapter three
  4. Chapter four
  5. Chapter five
  6. Chapter six
  7. Chapter seven
  8. Chapter eight
  9. Chapter nine
  10. Chapter ten
  11. Chapter eleven
  12. Chapter twelve
  13. Chapter thirteen
  14. Chapter fourteen
  15. Chapter fifteen
  16. Chapter sixteen
  17. Chapter seventeen
  18. Chapter eighteen
  19. Chapter nineteen
  20. Chapter twenty
  21. Chapter twenty-one
  22. Chapter twenty-two
  23. Chapter twenty-three
  24. Chapter twenty-four
  25. Chapter twenty-five
  26. Chapter twenty-six
  27. Chapter twenty-seven
  28. Chapter twenty-eight
  29. Chapter twenty-nine
  30. Chapter thirty
  31. Chapter thirty-one
  32. Chapter thirty-two
  33. Chapter thirty-three
  34. Chapter thirty-four
  35. Chapter thirty-five
  36. Chapter thirty-six
  37. Chapter thirty-seven
  38. Chapter thirty-eight
  39. Chapter thirty-nine
  40. Chapter forty
  41. Chapter forty-one
  42. Chapter forty-two
  43. Chapter forty-three
  44. Chapter forty-four
  45. Chapter forty-five
  46. Chapter forty-six
  47. Chapter forty-seven
  48. Chapter forty-eight
  49. Chapter forty-nine
  50. Chapter fifty
  51. Chapter fifty-one
  52. Chapter fifty-two
  53. Chapter fifty-three
  54. Chapter fifty-four
  55. Chapter fifty-five
  56. Chapter fifty-six
  57. Chapter fifty-seven
  58. Chapter fifty-eight
  59. Chapter fifty-nine
  60. Chapter sixty
  61. Chapter sixty-one
  62. Chapter sixty-two
  63. Chapter sixty-three
  64. Chapter sixty-four
  65. Chapter sixty-five
  66. Chapter sixty-six
  67. Chapter sixty-seven
  68. Chapter sixty-eight
  69. Chapter sixty-nine
  70. Chapter seventy
  71. Chapter seventy-one
  72. Chapter seventy-two
  73. Chapter seventy-three
  74. Chapter seventy-four
  75. Chapter seventy-five
  76. Chapter seventy-six
  77. Chapter seventy-seven
  78. Chapter seventy-eight
  79. Chapter seventy-nine
  80. Chapter eighty
  81. Chapter eighty-one
  82. Chapter eighty-two
  83. Chapter eighty-three
  84. Chapter eighty-four

‘Right.’ I busy myself doing nothing, checking pockets for no reason, pulling up my socks, tightening my belt a notch.

Dean heads towards the door and I follow him, shoulders dropped, chin almost trailing the floor. Suddenly, he shrugs off my bag and I’m in his arms again, crying, crying, crying. We’re clutching at each other, clutching at time, clutching at straws. I can quite honestly say that this feels a hundred times worse than Jake walking away.

Chapter sixty-five

Chapter sixty-five

Airline travel is disorientating. The flight from Kathmandu to Heathrow is nine hours in total. Nine long hours if you view it in terms of sitting in an unfeasibly cramped, economy seat with nothing but a tray of plastic food for solace. Nine very short hours in terms of catapulting me from my escapist, fantasy romance back into the grim reality that is my life. At least I got around to reading my trusty guidebook, which I haven’t glanced at since I flew out. I pored over the most boring bits—the geological formation of the Himalayas, the chequered political history and the rules of the road in Nepal, which were covered in one paragraph. And it very, very nearly helped to take my mind off Dean and the miles that were opening up between us.

I didn’t tell anyone when I was actually arriving as I thought I’d prefer to make my own way home. Now that I’m faced with slogging for the best part of two hours on the St Pancras to Bedford railway line—affectionately known as the Bedpan—to jolly old St Albans, I wish I’d phoned Edie and persuaded her to come and collect me.

My trusty and now rather battered backpack comes bumping round on the baggage carousel, looking as if the baggage handlers have had a boisterous game of football with it, and I hoist it onto my shoulders in what has become a familiar movement. And, weighty as it is, it’s still nowhere near as heavy as my heart. I make my way out of the Arrivals Hall, through the green ‘Nothing to Declare’ channel even though I want to declare that I’m very unhappy to anyone who will listen.