Don’t get me wrong, Edie wasn’t jumping into bed with all and sundry. She was, at least, ‘suitably attached’. Edie has been with the same bloke since she was fourteen and, as far as I know, he’s the only man she’s ever slept with. On cue, the lovely Lee comes into the kitchen. He’s always in the throes of some DIY project and, as such, is splotched with paint.

He kisses me on the cheek. ‘Hi, sis.’

Lee is the most wonderful, dependable man on the planet and I’m only pissed off that my sister got to him first.

‘Jake’s left her.’

‘Oh man.’ Lee nudges my bottom out of the way and slides onto the seat next to me.

‘He’s fed up,’ I explain. ‘We both are. The latest IVF frenzy has failed.’

He leans against me and gives me a comforting nudge.

‘For goodness’ sake, Lee,’ my sister says, ‘can’t you just take her upstairs and get her pregnant?’

‘I don’t mind.’ Lee shrugs. ‘It won’t take long.’

‘He’s right,’ my sister says. ‘Five minutes and it will all be over.’

Lee grins. ‘I have to rush before you fall asleep,’ he counter-accuses my sister—who responds with a frown that says there might be a modicum of truth in there somewhere.

My brother-in-law wriggles his bottom against mine and gives me a friendly smile. ‘I’m up for it if you are.’

‘It’s very tempting,’ I say, and I think I’m joking. It’s not the worst offer I’ve ever had and it would certainly be a lot cheaper than IVF.

‘Aren’t there some religions where you can marry your wife’s sister?’ he adds.

I lean against him. ‘I don’t know, but it might solve some of my problems.’

‘I’ll go and wash out my paintbrushes,’ Lee says. ‘Then I’ll be ready.’ He pushes away from the table and gives my shoulders a squeeze. ‘Love you.’

‘Yeah.’ I feel choked. ‘Love you too.’

Lee kisses Edie on the nose and ambles out towards the garden shed, which, like for most men, seems to be his only place of sanctuary.

I sigh. ‘You’re so lucky that you’re still in love after all these years.’

‘We’re not in love,’ Edie tuts. ‘We’re just too exhausted to leave each other.’

Kelly, grim-faced, marches into the kitchen and yanks open the mega-fridge. It is stacked with cheese, yoghurt, fruit and all manner of goodies and tempting treats. ‘There’s never anything to eat in this house,’ she says, slamming the door.

‘Give me one of your children,’ I suggest. ‘You’ve got kids coming out of your ears. I bet you wouldn’t even notice one less.’

‘You can take that one with pleasure,’ Edie says, unperturbed. She turns to Kelly. ‘You wouldn’t mind if Aunty Lyssa adopted you?’