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Back This Time Will Be Different
Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
  6. 3
  7. The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
  20. 13
  21. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
  22. 14
  23. 15
  24. 16
  25. 17
  26. 18
  27. 19
  28. The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
  33. 23
  34. 24
  35. 25
  36. A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
  37. 26
  38. 27
  39. 28
  40. A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
  50. 37
  51. 38
  52. 39
  53. 40
  54. 41
  55. 42
  56. 43
  57. 44
  58. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
  59. 45
  60. 46
  61. 47
  62. 48
  63. 49
  64. 50
  65. 51
  66. 52
  67. 53
  68. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
  69. 54
  70. A Note from the Author
  71. Index of Flowers and their Meanings
  72. Acknowledgments
  73. About the Author
  74. Praise for This Time Will Be Different
  75. Books by Misa Sugiura
  76. Back Ad
  77. About the Publisher

I get a thrill of pleasure from Brynn’s surprised expression when she sees me, which turns into a sour little pinching feeling when I realize that her surprise could easily stem from the fact that I am utterly unqualified to be here. But she very politely covers it up with a friendly smile and an enthusiastic, “Hey, CJ! What’s up?”

Nathan and Ari very politely wrap up their zombie killing spree, and the vape pen makes a second round, and Brynn, Nikki, and Lilianna all very politely decline, which sucks, because I took another teeny hit and now Brynn probably thinks I’m a stoner. Not that I care what she thinks because I have nothing but scorn in my heart for her. I know that Owen and Emily both think I’m being unfair, but I don’t care what they think, either, because . . . well, because. Because everything is easier when Brynn is not in the picture. Just like now. Before, it was fun. Now, it’s not. Is that unfair?

We walk out of the arcade and into the bowling alley, and everyone is being perfectly nice and friendly and polite, but I am fighting a losing battle against the ever-growing feeling that I don’t belong here. And I can’t drive home because I’m high. Also Shane drove me here, so I don’t have a car. Fuck. I thought that being high was supposed to help you relax and not care about stupid shit like this. I can’t even get high properly. I am a loser, despite not being at Heart’s Desire making table arrangements and talking about secret newspaper news with Owen and Hannah. Who could maybe come and get me. Maybe I should call them. Maybe Hannah could come and pick me up and take me to Heart’s Desire, and then maybe we could go home together when she’s done working, maybe. I wonder if Owen smokes. I wonder if he would judge me for smoking. It’s not like I do it very often. Anyway, I don’t care what he thinks.

“CJ? Ceee-Jaaaay!” It’s Shane’s voice in my ear, but it’s Brynn’s hands practically in my face, waving.

“Huh? Oh. Oh. I’m sorry, I was uh . . . thinking about something,” I stammer, which sends everyone into gales of laughter: Look at CJ spacing out because she’s high. Which I’m not. I’m distracted because of Brynn. We’re lined up at the shoe rental counter, and Nathan and Ari have already gotten their shoes. If I’m going to bail, I need to do it soon.

“I asked you where Emily was,” says Brynn when she recovers. To the shoe guy, she says, “Women’s size nine.”