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Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
  6. 3
  7. The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
  20. 13
  21. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
  22. 14
  23. 15
  24. 16
  25. 17
  26. 18
  27. 19
  28. The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
  33. 23
  34. 24
  35. 25
  36. A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
  37. 26
  38. 27
  39. 28
  40. A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
  50. 37
  51. 38
  52. 39
  53. 40
  54. 41
  55. 42
  56. 43
  57. 44
  58. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
  59. 45
  60. 46
  61. 47
  62. 48
  63. 49
  64. 50
  65. 51
  66. 52
  67. 53
  68. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
  69. 54
  70. A Note from the Author
  71. Index of Flowers and their Meanings
  72. Acknowledgments
  73. About the Author
  74. Praise for This Time Will Be Different
  75. Books by Misa Sugiura
  76. Back Ad
  77. About the Publisher

To be 100 percent embarrassingly honest, I actually think I am kind of pretty. I like my face: my eyes are so dark, they’re almost black; I have deep dimples on both cheeks, I have a cute nose. Is that conceited? I mean, I don’t think I’m gorgeous like Sabrina or Brynn. I’m not fishing for compliments to make myself feel good. I literally don’t think looks should matter at all. Only. I guess they do. I do want Shane to think I’m pretty. And hearing Owen say I’m pretty enough for Shane is making me happier than I want it to. Which makes me mad at Owen, which isn’t fair, but there it is. Asshole. He thinks Shane is shallow. Worse, he thinks I’m shallow, and I’m not. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to a person’s looks. And just because I’m not looking for my happily-ever-after soul mate doesn’t mean that I don’t care about what’s underneath.

“I don’t think Shane’s that shallow.”

Owen shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

“I’m not shallow, either.”

“I never said you were.”

“You’re thinking it, though.”

Owen smiles infuriatingly. “You care about what I think?”

“No.” God.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re shallow. I do think you could do better than Shane, but whatever. I could be wrong.”

“Hmph.”

“And while I’m giving unsolicited advice, I think maybe you could give Brynn a second chance.”

“Or you could stop giving me unsolicited advice.”

“I just think maybe you’re being a little . . . judgmental.” Which—I mean, coming from him, that doesn’t carry a lot of weight.

“Actions speak louder than words,” I say.

“Brynn is president of the QSA. How much louder of an action do you want?”

Did I not tell him everything at the mixer? Was he not listening? “All that means is that she decided it was time to come out. It doesn’t erase how she treated Emily, and it doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t break Em’s heart again. I’m sorry if it makes me sound judgmental, but I’m not going to pretend the past didn’t happen. She doesn’t get to leave her baggage behind.”

“Maybe.” He looks unconvinced, and it upsets me, because I don’t want him to think I’m some kind of thoughtlessly vengeful monster. I have good reasons for how I feel.

“You think I’m being unfair.”

He tilts his head, looks at his hands. “I just think life is complicated. And so are people. Especially when you feel like you have to hide who you are. I mean, I’ve been there. I know.”