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Back This Time Will Be Different
Chapters (77)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part I
  6. 3
  7. The History of My Beef with Brynn Foer-Preston
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part I
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part I
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part II
  20. 13
  21. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part II
  22. 14
  23. 15
  24. 16
  25. 17
  26. 18
  27. 19
  28. The Complicated History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Imaginary Relationship with Her Nonexistent Dad
  29. 20
  30. 21
  31. 22
  32. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part III
  33. 23
  34. 24
  35. 25
  36. A Brief, Backward History of the McAllister Family, as Paraphrased from the San Jose Mercury News
  37. 26
  38. 27
  39. 28
  40. A Quick and Eerily Relevant History of Asians in America
  41. 29
  42. 30
  43. 31
  44. 32
  45. 33
  46. 34
  47. 35
  48. 36
  49. A Brief History of Chisaki Joan Katsuyama’s Romantic Learning Opportunities, Part IV
  50. 37
  51. 38
  52. 39
  53. 40
  54. 41
  55. 42
  56. 43
  57. 44
  58. A Series of Screw-ups: The Chisaki Joan Katsuyama Story, Part II (Or Maybe It’s a Prequel)
  59. 45
  60. 46
  61. 47
  62. 48
  63. 49
  64. 50
  65. 51
  66. 52
  67. 53
  68. The History of the Katsuyama Family, Part III
  69. 54
  70. A Note from the Author
  71. Index of Flowers and their Meanings
  72. Acknowledgments
  73. About the Author
  74. Praise for This Time Will Be Different
  75. Books by Misa Sugiura
  76. Back Ad
  77. About the Publisher

Emily swallows. “She knows that. She told me the other day she wishes it was different, but what’s she supposed to do if only white kids come to the meetings?”

I see the others exchanging looks, and my heart sinks. “Emily. Come. On,” I groan. Em blinks at me, and I wonder if maybe I’ve gone a step too far.

Zach slaps his palms down on his desk. “Okay, whatever, you guys, it’s not worth fighting about. I say we let Brynn know she fucked up, but we stick together. I’m telling you we need her.”

“I agree,” says Owen. “We have to be bigger than her mistake.”

“No!” I shout. “That’s the problem! It doesn’t matter if we’re bigger than her mistake because Brynn is not bigger than her mistake. She’s always been this way. She’s not going to change just because we talk to her! What?” I demand, when I see people’s shocked faces. No one says anything.

“I’m with you guys,” Em says to Owen and Zach, ignoring me completely. To everyone else, but really to me, she says, “I think you’re being really unfair if you kick her off.”

Nikki chews on a fingernail. “She’s my friend and my teammate, but I am not here for any white-savior bullshit.”

“Thank you!” I say. Finally.

Nikki nods at me, but then she says, “I think it’s only fair to let her state her case, though.”

“Maybe she’ll apologize. Maybe she’ll figure it out and back off,” says Mizhir.

Emily looks at me. She doesn’t say anything, but I can read her eyes. Please, they say. You know what it’s like to fuck up. She’s only done this one thing. She doesn’t deserve to be punished for it. But I know that this “one thing” is one in an entire series of things.

Brynn arrives a few minutes later. “Oh, did I get the time wrong?” she asks when she sees the rest of us sitting somberly in a circle.

Owen tells her what we’ve been talking about, and her eyes grow large.

“So, uh.” Owen clears his throat. “What do you think? You wanna say anything?”

For a moment, the only sound in the room is the clink of Tulasi’s bangle against her desk as she spins it on her wrist. Then Brynn straightens up and takes a breath. “You guys have it all wrong. I was trying to bring more attention to the issue, not take the focus off it. I would never do anything to sabotage you guys. I mean you can see that, right? How I got the press here, how Owen and Aviana were both able to make really good points on TV?”

Aviana says, “You interrupted me.”