It hadn’t helped, seeing Lina. One brand of guilt had been replaced by another, this one a physical presence, a hot ball of acid that had formed in my gut after lunch and stayed there ever since, growing every time I let myself think about it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I could sleep, but only in snatches—short, shallow, easily broken—or on the couch in the afternoon, suddenly so exhausted I couldn’t fight it. I’d got almost four hours after lunch the day before, waking up nauseous with the stale taste of artificial cheese coating my tongue.

Fiona was sick, or so we were told. Abraham was tall and skinny in that almost alien way, and he clutched his clipboard like a shield and gave us all suspicious looks as we walked in.

‘I just keep having these dreams. The other night my best friend Lina and I were on a train, but when we were kids. And she was on her phone, even though she didn’t have a phone then. I was looking out the window and I could see the smoke, and I tried to tell her but she wasn’t listening, and when I looked around it was just the two of us and then the carriage jumped, and jumped again, and—’ I looked at Donna. She looked ill. ‘God,’ I said, suddenly cold. ‘I don’t want to be one of those people who talks about their dreams, but it was just so real, you know?’

‘I have nightmares sometimes,’ Geoff said. He’d been watching me more intently than usual. ‘I keep a diary by my bed so I can write them down. I read somewhere that it helps.’

‘No,’ Carlos shook his head. ‘You need to break the pattern before they happen. Guided meditation as you get into bed. You just have to get used to falling asleep with earphones in.’

Geoff scoffed. ‘That just sounds like a strangulation hazard.’

‘Not if you use wireless.’

‘Still,’ Geoff said, squinting, ‘what if a fire alarm goes off and you don’t hear it?’

My eyes flicked between the two of them, grateful for the distraction.

‘Not noise-cancelling ones,’ Carlos explained. ‘Tanya got some for running a couple of years back. She still needed to hear cars and things. They’re waterproof, too, so if you drool in your sleep …’

‘I don’t, but thanks, mate.’

‘Not what I’ve heard.’

‘Caitlin,’ Abraham said, bored. ‘You were saying?’

I looked around, caught Geoff trying to suppress an eye roll. Something about his face seemed off.

‘I just haven’t been sleeping well,’ I finished, ‘and it’s starting to affect everything.’

‘Can you think of anything that’s happened to stir up your insomnia like this?’ Abraham asked.