So I didn’t say much. Not at first. They seemed nervous too, especially Dad. He gave me a quick hug and said I was looking well and then made a beeline for Matt, asked him about the football.

I hadn’t seen much of Matt. He worked a lot and by the time he came home I was usually half asleep. I knew he and Lina stayed up. Some nights I could hear them talking late into the night, tiny bursts of laughter. I’d never given him much of a chance before, but I’d come to like him. He made Lina happy.

Over dinner, Mum grilled Lina about the wedding, wanted to know all the details, cooed and smiled at everything. I should have hated it, but I didn’t. I didn’t hate much these days, didn’t have the energy, the anger. ‘Have you got your dress yet, Cait?’ she asked me.

I shook my head. ‘Not yet.’

‘You need to do that soon.’ She looked at Lina. ‘I can help you if you want. What colour do you want her to wear, Leen?’

Lina picked up her wine. She’d poured me a glass too but just the smell made my jaw hurt. ‘I don’t care. Whatever she wants.’

Mum sighed. ‘Long? Short? Strapless? They’re doing some lovely jumpsuits these days.’

‘Not a jumpsuit,’ I said quickly. Lina had made spaghetti and it was amazing and I was having a hard time not shovelling it all in at once.

‘Well. There’s a start. A dress. You’d look lovely in something pink, Cait, with your colouring.’

‘Not pink.’

Lina laughed, and Mum made a face. ‘Fine, not pink,’ she said. ‘Satin? Lace? Organza? Chiffon? Tulle? I could make something if you find a pattern.’

‘Mum …’ I took a breath. ‘It’s okay. Leen and I have talked about it, and I’m going to find something off the rack.’

‘Honestly, Sue,’ Lina said, ‘my dress is enough of a meringue. Caitlin’s can be super simple. And we’re just having white flowers so the colour doesn’t matter.’ She looked at me. ‘Just not pink.’

Mum didn’t seem convinced, but she gave in. ‘Okay then. I just think it’s better to be prepared with these things.’

Lina smiled reassuringly. ‘Literally everything else is organised, isn’t it, Matty?’

‘Absolutely. Amanda has been amazing. Seriously, Cait—’ he looked at me ‘—when you get married, do it in Bali. Someone else does everything.’

Lina’s face froze in shock, but the thought seemed so alien to me right then that I just laughed, hard. Matt doesn’t think too much, Lina said once, years ago. Back then I’d thought it was a complaint but now I realised it wasn’t.

‘Thanks,’ I said, ‘I’ll keep that in mind.’