‘It’s our anniversary next month, Tanya and I,’ Carlos was saying. He was smiling, but it was sad, wistful. ‘Ten years. Tanya’s got some time off and wants us to drive up to Port Macquarie to see her family, then on to Coffs and Byron to see friends. People we haven’t seen since the wedding.’

Geoff took a sharp breath, and he wasn’t the only one. We’d all seen the footage—cars wrapped around trees or torn in half by semitrailers all the way up the north coast. Glass everywhere.

We’d driven up to the Gold Coast every January when I was a kid, the car packed full of bed linen and boogie boards and the back seat much too small for Jack and me. Mum and Dad would share the driving, and I would look out the window. It hadn’t been a big deal then. Dad did the speed limit all the way, never went over, while Mum pushed harder, laughing when I told her to slow down, telling me I was seeing the needle on an angle.

I shivered. It was so cold. Abraham must have forgotten to turn the heating on.

‘It’s a beautiful part of the world,’ Glenn said sadly. ‘We used to go up there all the time. Camp right on the beach, even though you’re not supposed to. My mates still do sometimes.’

Carlos nodded. ‘She’s even talked about hiring a campervan. At least her car has a five-star safety rating, but those things … who knows? Who knows how regularly they’re serviced, or what the person who hired them before you did to them? It’s ridiculous.’

‘So what are you going to do?’ Geoff asked.

Carlos shrugged, and I knew the answer.

‘Stay home. I’ve told her I can’t get away from work.’ He said finally. ‘I feel so guilty for lying, but I don’t want her to lose me and then blame herself for suggesting the trip in the first place. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself.’

I closed my eyes, a sharp ache pushing into my chest.

‘I promised her we’d go to Fiji in March.’

‘Cyclone season,’ Glenn mused.

Carlos frowned. ‘Maybe not then. Jesus.’

‘You’ve got to be careful, mate.’

The way Glenn said it was strange, and it took me a second to figure out what he meant.

I thought about Lina, for some reason, planning her dream wedding long before she met Matt. I used to tease her about it. What? she’d say. Just because you don’t let anyone hang around for more than a month.

I’m just being careful.

Too careful.

And I’d laugh but it didn’t feel funny. I had to be careful. To be safe. To not end up like Jenny.