‘I’m always careful, Leen,’ I said. ‘Too careful, remember?’

Lina lifted up her dress and Marla kneeled in front of her with the shoes.

‘I know,’ she said softly.

‘I am. This isn’t like Dex.’ I felt bruised. Tired. I wanted to go. ‘This is different, Leen. Tom is different.’

Lina frowned, wobbling onto the heels. ‘I know. It’s just … I don’t want you to get hurt again.’

I bit my lip, shaking away a flash of uncertainty. Too much. Why was she doing this? All our lives she’d told me I was too careful, played it too safe, and now this. ‘I won’t.’ It was hard, and she looked at me for a moment, her face unreadable, before shaking her head.

‘I know.’ She smiled. ‘I’m sorry.’

Marla rocked back onto her toes, fanning out the dress as she did so. ‘There we go,’ she said, before standing up and moving back to the wall, disappearing into it. I wondered if she’d deliberately dressed in the same colour as the curtains.

Lina looked in the mirror. ‘Holy shit.’

‘What’s wrong?’ Marla frowned.

Lina shook her head, looked at me, her eyes pleading. ‘What do you think?’ It was soft and thick and I could hear the wanting in it. I looked at her, our conversation forgotten, fading into the curtains.

She looked beautiful. The schoolgirl had disappeared and she looked like a bride. Not like Lina at all, but beautiful. My breath caught.

‘I love it,’ I said, grateful for the diversion, but it wasn’t a lie.

‘Okay.’ She looked at Marla. ‘Okay. Can I have a minute?’

Marla smiled, looked at both of us. ‘Of course. I’ll be back.’

The door closed, and Lina turned again. ‘Holy hell, Cait. I’m getting married, aren’t I?’

I frowned. ‘Well … you’d hope so.’

‘No, no, I mean—I’m getting fucking married.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’ve been running around like a headless chicken since we got engaged but it’s all been about the wedding and this is …’ She looked at me. ‘It’s real, isn’t it?’

I was still for a long time, not sure how to respond. ‘It is, Leen.’

‘I’m so glad you’re here, Caitie,’ she said, her voice almost a whisper. ‘I’m so, so glad.’

‘Me too.’

I looked up. Her eyes were damp, and I realised that for the first time I meant it.

Lina bought the dress. She told me I could wear anything I wanted as her bridesmaid and before we left I looked at a whole wall of fluffy shiny silky things and none of them looked right. I held a dark green slip dress up against me and Lina sucked in her cheek and frowned.

‘What?’