28

I’m not sure our counselling session went all that well, not by anyone’s standards. I don’t feel any better for attention, Daniel only seems to be angrier, the poor couple who wound up sitting next to Jen and Kevin are probably scarred for life, and I wouldn’t be surprised if our therapist was currently updating her CV, looking for work in a less stressful environment like a prison or a bomb-disposal unit.

For a moment I was worried that they wouldn’t allow us to carry on competing in Mr & Mrs Valentine Island, but it turns out that, after last night’s display, the crowd are loving watching Freddie, and I think the staff have realised that they would be stupid to kick him out of the competition. By association, this means that I get to carry on competing with him and, to avoid Daniel and Eva kicking off about the special treatment, they have been allowed to continue in the competition too.

I might mind, had we not just kicked their butts again, in round three of the competition. I suppose tonight it was easy. We were all blindfolded and shown to the dance floor, where we were told that the aim of the game was to find our partner simply by using our hands. My eyes were already covered, but I heard the audience ‘woo’ when this was announced – I think this is the resort’s attempt at doing something semi-saucy, but I suppose it’s only as saucy as you make it, and we were categorically told behind the scenes that, whatever happened during this round, we were not to ‘touch anyone where they wouldn’t want to be touched’ – words that, before I knew what the aim of the game was going to be, absolutely terrified me.

It wasn’t so bad though. I didn’t have to encounter too many random wandering hands (nor did I accidentally grab onto anything I would rather not), and of course we won, because Freddie is so much larger than everyone else, I didn’t struggle to get my hands on his body straight away. Of course, that is a concept I can’t get out of my mind at the moment, so I suppose I was bound to find it a piece of cake.

Daniel and Eva came second but I don’t mind, because not only is second place the first loser, but finding Daniel was almost as easy as finding Freddie – perhaps even easier, given that Daniel is the only man here with a long hipster beard.

I used to like Daniel’s beard. Well, I liked what it stood for. I loved that he has his own sense of style and that he likes to look good. Beards generally never really did much for me, but I got on board with Daniel’s. Now, looking at it from the outside, I’m not really sure what I saw in it. I suppose beauty really is skin deep and if you like someone you wind up liking everything about them. Now I’ve been spending time with Freddie, I appreciate his designer stubble way more than any beard.