Freddie shuffles in his seat. I don’t think he knows what to say or do but there’s nothing he can do.

‘Come inside,’ he says. ‘Let’s pack while we do this.’

‘I already did,’ I reply.

Freddie exhales deeply.

‘Why do I feel like my wife moved out while I was at work?’ he asks with an awkward laugh.

I give him a half-smile.

All I want to do is grab him and kiss him and beg him to make this work no matter what it takes, but I know that it can’t. I’m sure he would try, but it just can’t.

‘What if I loved you?’ he asks. ‘What would you think?’

It feels as if every organ in my body has stopped working all at once. I feel weightless, suspended in mid-air, unable to do anything. I love him. I’m sure that I love him. But I just can’t be in another complicated relationship. My brief dice with Daniel’s extracurricular activities has left me petrified.

‘I’d think I was relieved you never told me that,’ I reply.

Freddie’s eyebrows shoot up.

‘Okay, then.’ He coughs, clearing his throat. ‘Looks like I’ve massively misunderstood the situation.’

‘Come on,’ I start. ‘You were acting. We were both playing a part.’

‘Lila, I am not that good an actor,’ he replies. ‘All of it was real for me. The attraction was there from the moment I met you. Perhaps you’re a better actress than you think.’

He turns around and heads for his door, stopping just before he gets there. As he lingers, I want more than anything to tell him that I love him too. His pause gives me pause; perhaps it doesn’t have to be this way.

‘Oh, before I forget,’ he says, tossing an envelope towards me.

‘What’s that?’ I ask.

‘We won Mr & Mrs Valentine Island,’ he says with a laugh. ‘That’s your cheque. Have a nice life.’

And with that, he goes inside and slams the door behind him.

I head into my suite alone, about to end my holiday the way it started. Sad, lonely and with the realisation that I won’t be spending my life with the man I love.

39

Day 13

I’ve made a mistake.

In hindsight, I knew I was making it even while I was making it. I went to sleep with it on my mind, just chipping away at me, but when I woke up… the second I opened my eyes the reality of what I had done really set in, and all I could think about was making it right.

I jumped out of bed, hurried down the stairs and ran next door, ready to spill my guts, to right my wrongs, to tell Freddie that I love him.

But he had already checked out. I realised this after banging on the front door and peering into the back, but there was no sign of him.

So I guess that is that, then.

I finished packing my bags and made my way to the boat that will take me from the island back to Naples, where I can catch a plane back to my shitty life.