‘I suppose it does make a pretty good set-up for a novel,’ I admit. ‘It’s not my autobiography – it’s definitely going to be fiction. I’d probably change quite a lot of what has happened…’

I’d definitely leave out all the stuff with the dildo.’

‘You know, that’s actually a really good idea,’ I admit.

‘Of course, it is,’ he replies. ‘Give it a go, see how it feels. When I’m struggling with a scene, I try and distract myself with something else, see if I can do better.’

Perhaps Freddie is right – maybe if I work on a different idea, I’ll realise it’s much better. It isn’t dissimilar to what’s going on in my real life either. Hanging out with Freddie has made me realise something about Daniel – he was never interested in my work, or helping me out.

It turns out I can do better, and not just with my work. I’m starting to realise that perhaps Daniel was never the right person for me at all.

19

I’m so far out of my comfort zone at the moment, a little extra discomfort barely gets a flinch out of me.

In some respects, I’m being pretty predictable. I’m at Sabatini restaurant again, eating arancini again, drinking a porn star martini – again. Sure, I like to try new things. But when something is this good, and accessible for a finite amount of time, why not go to town on it while I can, right?

This time I’m here with Ali and, unlike my date with Freddie, she didn’t tell me I looked nice when I got ready. Instead, she talked me into borrowing a dress from her. A hot-pink, super-short dress with a mesh front, from the neck to the belly button. I’ve seen Ali wear this dress before and it definitely looks much better on her. Not just because she’s in way better shape than me, but because her fake boobs need no assistance staying in place – my real ones don’t hold their own, so I’ve been forced to wear my bra underneath. Still, it doesn’t look so bad, I just don’t feel like myself in it. It’s way, way too sexy for me. Not quite as revealing as the blue boob tube Ali is trying to pass off as a dress though. She looks incredible, as she always does, but she’s attracting a lot of male attention, and the thing you have to remember about this place is that everyone is taken.

Two new drinks are placed down on our table, but not by our waiter, by a barman – although I have been wrong before.

I quickly realise it is the man we passed earlier today, the one who couldn’t take his eyes off Ali. He still can’t.

‘Oh, hello again,’ I say.

‘Ciao,’ he says – I wonder if his English might be limited, but then he speaks again. ‘Are you two together?’

‘We certainly are,’ Ali says. She reaches out and takes my hand in hers, not unlike the way Freddie did last night. I can’t believe how much action I’m getting on my honeymoon – and none of it from my husband.