‘He’s pretending to be mine,’ I tell her.

‘Girl Code,’ she says simply, with a shrug of her shoulders. ‘Now go and shag him on the beach.’

‘I think we’re just going for a walk,’ I tell her. ‘Have dinner with me later?’

‘Sure,’ she replies. ‘I’ll go for a swim, catch some rays and then get ready.’

‘Great,’ I reply. ‘I can’t wait.’

Ali walks up to me and looks me straight in the eye.

‘Are you honestly telling me you don’t fancy him?’

‘We’re just friends,’ I tell her.

‘Hmm,’ she replies suspiciously. ‘OK, go and enjoy your day date.’

‘Not a date,’ I remind her. ‘See you later.’

I feel embarrassed that every female apart from me recognises Freddie and falls at his feet. All I did was make him run around after me. Worse than feeling embarrassed, I feel weird. Telling Ali to chase him felt like the most natural thing in the world, but as soon as I said it, I wished I hadn’t. Stupid really, because he’s only doing me this favour because he’s bored and lonely.

‘Right,’ I say, stepping outside, closing the door behind me.

Freddie is sitting on the veranda with his feet up, waiting for me. He’s wearing shorts and a vest, showing off his arm muscles, and of course he has his sunglasses on now, now that we’re heading out in public. I suppose Ali recognising him has shown him how much he needs them to remain as incognito as possible.

‘Hey, friend,’ he says. ‘Ready for our not-date?’

Well, if ever I needed a reminder of where we stand, there it is. He’s only saying it how it is though, and so am I. This relationship is just for show. And so we can ride the bikes built for two without killing ourselves.

18

‘We need a safe word,’ Freddie says.

I laugh so hard I choke on my cappuccino.

‘Excuse me?’ I say after regaining my composure. ‘We need a safe word?’

‘We do,’ he replies. ‘In case things get too messy.’

‘Oh, wow, I feel like I’m in your mucky movie,’ I say with a cackle.

Freddie smiles cheekily as he dips another biscotti in his coffee.

‘We do actually have a safe word in the movie,’ he admits.

‘What was it?’ I ask curiously.

‘Caboose.’

‘Get lost.’ I laugh. ‘There’s no way that’s your safe word.’

‘Why not?’

‘It’s not sexy.’

‘Safe words aren’t supposed to be sexy,’ he tells me. ‘They’re supposed to be safe. When things get too much, it’s something you say to bring yourself out of the moment.’

I feel myself getting a little hot under the collar.

‘Why do we need one?’ I ask.

‘Well, when we’re pretending we’re a couple, if we have a word we can say, to let the other one know to back off a little… I’m an actor, I don’t want to get carried away…’

‘Well, that’s different, then. We’re not going to be “in the moment”,’ I point out. ‘So our safe word could be something sexy… Won’t it sound weird, if I just blurt the word caboose?’