‘All right, all right, all right, all right,’ I rant. ‘Jesus Christ, you’ve made your point.’

‘Just… think about it, okay?’

Right now all I’m thinking about is how Daniel still thinks the Spice Girls are relevant. No wonder he and Eva had nothing to talk about. She’d talk about Little Mix for hours if you’d let her.

Suddenly much more composed, Daniel retreats back to the villa, leaving me out here by myself. I find some shade underneath a tree and sit down, fanning my face with my hand, not that it does much to cool me down.

I don’t think much of his non-apology, but he’s given me a lot to think about. Not as far as he and I are concerned, but with Freddie… I hate to say it, but he’s right. And it’s so cruel and unfair because it’s all thanks to Daniel that I will never just blindly and happily trust another man again. I’m always going to wonder. And he’s also right about how hard it’s going to be, seeing Freddie kissing other people, filming sex scenes, hearing the rumours about who he is romantically linked to. It’s going to drive me mad, and I’ll be observing it all from home where I’m all alone, maybe in my own house or maybe in some tiny flat because Daniel forced me out and that’s all I’ll be able to afford.

It isn’t fair on Freddie either. He’s an A-lister; he should be living like one. Not flying to London to visit me between movies. He lives in LA, I live in London. It’s never going to work.

I do still need to talk to Freddie, but it’s going to be a completely different conversation. I need to break things off with him before I get carried away – for my own good as well as his.

38

Rather than go find Freddie, I’ve spent my afternoon packing my suitcase – most notably, taking all my things from Freddie’s suite and moving them to my own. I might not be going home until tomorrow, but I can’t stand the thought of packing my things in front of him, moments after telling him that this is where we say goodbye.

I’m sitting on the veranda outside the villa. It’s starting to get dark now and the bugs are beginning to come out. I swat them from my face as I wait for Freddie to show up. I could wait inside but I don’t want to miss him. I need to tell him asap or I’ll lose my nerve.

Eventually, I spot him walking up the driveway, all smiles as he approaches the arches. By the time he reaches me he notices the look on my face and his smile falls.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asks.

‘Sit down,’ I say. ‘We need to talk.’

‘Well, this doesn’t sound good,’ he says as he sits down next to me. He takes my hand in his and squeezes it. I can’t believe he’s comforting me, even when I’m about to ditch him. ‘You want to go inside?’