Most importantly though, everything they said has got me thinking about how important it is to be with someone who makes you happy, and if there’s one thing I know for certain (confirmed by the fact that this is the most depressing period of my life to date) it’s that I have never felt happier with a man than I do when I am around Freddie.

Now I just need to work out how to tell him…

34

‘Do you ever feel like an extra in a porno?’ I ask Freddie with a smile.

I’m referring to the fact that a large portion of our days is accompanied by the audible backdrop of Ali having multiple orgasms.

‘It’s like you don’t know what my day job is,’ Freddie replies with a laugh, swigging beer from his bottle.

‘I mean, I really didn’t know when we met,’ I reply in my defence.

Freddie and I are currently curled up on the outdoor sofa that sits outside the back door of his suite. It’s so dark up here it feels as if you can see every star in the sky. It’s a cooler night, but I have Freddie to keep me warm, as well as a mug of thick Italian hot chocolate (so thick I have to eat it with a spoon rather than drink it) and a lovely warm blanket.

‘I guess Ali found her way back to Max. I’m surprised he isn’t tired, after his long working days,’ I point out. ‘Ali says she thinks he’d sleep with anyone, to have a few nights out of the staff quarters. She told me the other day that, before the first time they hooked up, he took her back there – to have sex in his bunk bed, with his roommate on the bed below. That’s how I lost my suite and ended up in yours.’

‘And they say romance is dead,’ Freddie laughs. ‘I wonder what she did with Marty…’

‘You mean his body?’ I reply. ‘Probably at the bottom of the ocean.’

‘At least it means I can stay on vacation a little longer,’ he jokes. ‘At least until they find him.’

‘I’m sure he’s fine,’ I say. ‘Even if she has chewed him up and spat him out.’

‘Oh, Marty always lands on his back,’ Freddie tells me. ‘He’ll be disappointing some other poor woman.’

I snuggle deeper into Freddie’s embrace. I’ve never felt so safe… and yet still so fragile. I feel as if nothing bad can happen to me when Freddie is around. It feels impossible for anyone to hurt me… except him, of course. He could crush my heart in his hands.

‘Please don’t take any offence from this,’ I start with caution, even though this is a phrase usually adopted by someone who is about to cause a great deal of offence. ‘I can’t imagine you living a movie-star life.’

‘Would that be offensive?’ he asks curiously.

‘Well, look at Marty, for example,’ I start. ‘I’m sure he’s a great guy.’