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Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Title Page
  5. Intoroduction
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EITHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. SIXTEEN
  22. SEVENTEEN
  23. EIGHTEEN
  24. NINETEEN
  25. TWENTY
  26. TWENTY-ONE
  27. TWENTY-TWO
  28. TWENTY-THREE
  29. TWENTY-FOUR
  30. TWENTY-FIVE
  31. TWENTY-SIX
  32. TWENTY-SEVEN
  33. TWENTY-EIGHT
  34. TWENTY-NINE
  35. THIRTY
  36. THIRTY-ONE
  37. THIRTY-TWO
  38. THIRTY-THREE
  39. THIRTY-FOUR
  40. THIRTY-FIVE
  41. THIRTY-SIX
  42. THIRTY-SEVEN
  43. THIRTY-EIGHT
  44. THIRTY-NINE
  45. FORTY
  46. FORTY-ONE
  47. FORTY-TWO
  48. FORTY-THREE
  49. FORTY-FOUR
  50. FORTY-FIVE
  51. FORTY-SIX
  52. FORTY-SEVEN
  53. FORTY-EIGHT
  54. FORTY-NINE
  55. FIFTY
  56. FIFTY-ONE
  57. FIFTY-TWO
  58. FIFTY-THREE
  59. FIFTY-FOUR
  60. FIFTY-FIVE
  61. FIFTY-SIX
  62. FIFTY-SEVEN
  63. FIFTY-EIGHT
  64. FIFTY-NINE
  65. SIXTY
  66. SIXTY-ONE
  67. SIXTY-TWO
  68. SIXTY-THREE
  69. SIXTY-FOUR
  70. SIXTY-FIVE
  71. SIXTY-SIX
  72. SIXTY-SEVEN
  73. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  74. CLIMATE EMERGENCY
  75. Copyright

Everyone in the room is leaning further forward on their elbows. There are eager looks between a few of the men. Carl scans the room with narrowed eyes, fully aware that everyone is giving him their undivided attention, like some wild animal, waiting for the rest of the pack to show respect, and milking it when he gets it. A pair of older guys towards the back of the room are talking quickly to each other under their breath. Carl stares hard at them until they realise and cease speaking immediately. He could rip their throats out. He is leonine, impressive. I’m rivetted to the spot, ready to hear what the fiercest man in the room has to say.

‘It’s been disappointing,’ Carl begins, his voice changed and barely above a hissed whisper, ‘that so many of our recent actions have not seen the participation of more than a handful of this group’s members.’

The quiet in the room gets, somehow, even quieter. People are afraid even to cough or move their hands. Drinks go un-drunk on the table tops.

‘Who is it that goes out on patrol in the evenings, keeping our streets safe? Who is it that has been taking our message straight to the root of our country’s problem? Which of you can say that in the last year he’s done anything more than waving a flag at a couple of demonstrations?’

With this last question, Carl seems to look directly at several people in the room at the same time. Their eyes lower, meekly. The man called Barney says, ‘Too fucking right.’

Carl continues, ‘So if any of you have lost your appetite for this war, I’ll say what I’ve said a hundred times. There’s the door. If you can’t stomach what needs to be done, if you are too selfish to commit, if you are putting your own interests above those of this beautiful country, above doing what’s right for Josh, then get out. Now.’

In the seemingly endless silence that follows, nobody moves. All eyes are on me and I can barely breathe. I see Dan in his blue jumper, nodding.

‘Good,’ Carl’s voice is even quieter now; a rasping, guttural croak. ‘Because this thing we’re going to do, for our country, for Josh, is going to include all of us. You are all necessary. You all have a role to play.’