BooksBarbecue
Back Grow
Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Title Page
  5. Intoroduction
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EITHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. SIXTEEN
  22. SEVENTEEN
  23. EIGHTEEN
  24. NINETEEN
  25. TWENTY
  26. TWENTY-ONE
  27. TWENTY-TWO
  28. TWENTY-THREE
  29. TWENTY-FOUR
  30. TWENTY-FIVE
  31. TWENTY-SIX
  32. TWENTY-SEVEN
  33. TWENTY-EIGHT
  34. TWENTY-NINE
  35. THIRTY
  36. THIRTY-ONE
  37. THIRTY-TWO
  38. THIRTY-THREE
  39. THIRTY-FOUR
  40. THIRTY-FIVE
  41. THIRTY-SIX
  42. THIRTY-SEVEN
  43. THIRTY-EIGHT
  44. THIRTY-NINE
  45. FORTY
  46. FORTY-ONE
  47. FORTY-TWO
  48. FORTY-THREE
  49. FORTY-FOUR
  50. FORTY-FIVE
  51. FORTY-SIX
  52. FORTY-SEVEN
  53. FORTY-EIGHT
  54. FORTY-NINE
  55. FIFTY
  56. FIFTY-ONE
  57. FIFTY-TWO
  58. FIFTY-THREE
  59. FIFTY-FOUR
  60. FIFTY-FIVE
  61. FIFTY-SIX
  62. FIFTY-SEVEN
  63. FIFTY-EIGHT
  64. FIFTY-NINE
  65. SIXTY
  66. SIXTY-ONE
  67. SIXTY-TWO
  68. SIXTY-THREE
  69. SIXTY-FOUR
  70. SIXTY-FIVE
  71. SIXTY-SIX
  72. SIXTY-SEVEN
  73. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  74. CLIMATE EMERGENCY
  75. Copyright

‘Wasn’t that really awkward?’ I try to imagine a compulsory handshake from Mr Glynn, our greasy history teacher.

‘Depends on the teacher, you know?’ Ahmed goes back to fiddling with the Bunsen burner.

‘Sorry. I guess you don’t like talking about it.’

‘Not really, no.’

‘And when you get singled out, like earlier, it…’

‘It makes it even worse. Yes.’

‘Funny, isn’t it,’ I say. ‘How people think they can show they understand how you feel just by using a few words you might recognise. Words they probably googled anyway. They think they can somehow jump into your head and make a connection—’

‘And then everything will be fine. Yeah, I’ve noticed how some of them do that.’

From the other side of the room, Mr Walters threatens a few boys with detentions if they keep eating the experiment.

I continue. ‘And all it does is push you further out. Further away.’

There’s another pause before Ahmed speaks. ‘I don’t know. What would they use if they didn’t use words? And isn’t it maybe better that they at least try?’

‘So what do you think about Walters? Is he a good one or a bad one?’

Ahmed turns the burner to a blue roar, pinning the lolly above it. The sweet’s red surface blackens, begins to bubble as the flame takes on a greenish tinge. ‘I haven’t made up my mind yet.’

*

When I plug in the secret SIM that night, there’s a message from a number which must be Carl. Two words is all he needs. Phase one.

And I go along with it. I have to. For now.

That weekend and for the few weekends after, Ahmed, Jamie and I stand together on the touchline at the rec, shouting encouragement, laughing, complaining about the cold. And I lend Ahmed a few homeworks and old essays in English. He still has a few problems with writing in English, especially the really formal stuff. I’m better at English than Jamie, and I can kind of explain to him where he’s going wrong; the places where the normal rules don’t apply.

And we talk, then, about all the other places in England where the normal rules don’t apply; how to start conversations, where to start conversations, what it means when people say ‘maybe’ or ‘perhaps’. Ahmed reads a lot, and I recommend a bunch of books, lend him a few of my own. In only a few weeks, we’re texting about characters, plots, the right thing to do when you enter a public toilet and there’s only one urinal free. We share links to Youtube videos. He asks me why it’s actually funny to watch montages of the guys from Masterchef making a bunch of weird noises. I say I don’t know, but we both agree it’s hilarious. It’s like we’re becoming friends.