BooksBarbecue
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Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Title Page
  5. Intoroduction
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EITHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. SIXTEEN
  22. SEVENTEEN
  23. EIGHTEEN
  24. NINETEEN
  25. TWENTY
  26. TWENTY-ONE
  27. TWENTY-TWO
  28. TWENTY-THREE
  29. TWENTY-FOUR
  30. TWENTY-FIVE
  31. TWENTY-SIX
  32. TWENTY-SEVEN
  33. TWENTY-EIGHT
  34. TWENTY-NINE
  35. THIRTY
  36. THIRTY-ONE
  37. THIRTY-TWO
  38. THIRTY-THREE
  39. THIRTY-FOUR
  40. THIRTY-FIVE
  41. THIRTY-SIX
  42. THIRTY-SEVEN
  43. THIRTY-EIGHT
  44. THIRTY-NINE
  45. FORTY
  46. FORTY-ONE
  47. FORTY-TWO
  48. FORTY-THREE
  49. FORTY-FOUR
  50. FORTY-FIVE
  51. FORTY-SIX
  52. FORTY-SEVEN
  53. FORTY-EIGHT
  54. FORTY-NINE
  55. FIFTY
  56. FIFTY-ONE
  57. FIFTY-TWO
  58. FIFTY-THREE
  59. FIFTY-FOUR
  60. FIFTY-FIVE
  61. FIFTY-SIX
  62. FIFTY-SEVEN
  63. FIFTY-EIGHT
  64. FIFTY-NINE
  65. SIXTY
  66. SIXTY-ONE
  67. SIXTY-TWO
  68. SIXTY-THREE
  69. SIXTY-FOUR
  70. SIXTY-FIVE
  71. SIXTY-SIX
  72. SIXTY-SEVEN
  73. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  74. CLIMATE EMERGENCY
  75. Copyright

‘No. They had a full squad. Besides, there were a few … elements … in the team that weren’t too friendly. But FIFA’s better, and it’s never this bloody cold in your bedroom, right?’

We laugh.

‘Word of warning,’ says Jamie to me. ‘Never accept a FIFA challenge from this guy. I thought I’d got good since this,’ he pats his cast. ‘But Ahmed rinses me, every time.’

Ahmed takes another sip from his can. ‘You’re such a noob.’ When Ahmed laughs, half of his sip comes back out of his nose. Then we’re all bent double, laughing.

Jamie regains himself first. ‘I’ve told Ben that Ahmed wants his job. I’ll bet he’s touching benches quicker than ever now.’ Jamie and I explain Ben’s changing room idiosyncrasies to Ahmed.

‘The centre forward on my team at home used to run and touch every corner flag before kick-off,’ Ahmed says.

‘Did it help?’ I ask.

‘Not a bit. He was useless. But his father was the coach. And his older sister was gorgeous and came to every match, so we didn’t mind too much.’

We spend a few minutes talking about the relative merits of the female supporters. Mark has two older sisters, neither of whom come to watch. A good share of the others don’t have siblings, like me. Apart from that, there’s just mums, of which we decide Ben’s mum is the best, and that she drives the nicest car.

‘Your mum’s BMW’s not bad though,’ says Jamie to Ahmed. ‘I got very well acquainted with its back seat!’

‘Yes, she said you handled yourself very well, considering. You didn’t scream so loudly that you put her off driving. I’m sorry I didn’t give up the front seat. Thought you were better off stretching out in the back.’

‘Ahmed’s mum took me to the hospital when I—’

‘You mean when I?’ I break in.

‘Whatever. When my leg got broken.’

‘That’s really kind,’ I say. Ahmed flashes me a smile.

As we talk, two figures emerge from the tree line on the other side of the field. They stand for a moment, looking down the slope towards us, then start to move off to the right.

‘We should go,’ says Jamie, seeing what I haven’t, yet.

Alan and Vince are soon recognisable, trying to knock each other’s beanie hats off as they approach the corner flag on the far side of the pitch.

‘Yeah, let’s go,’ says Ahmed. The two of them spin around and head for the footpath almost directly behind us.

‘Coming, Josh?’

‘Yes,’ I say.