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Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Title Page
  5. Intoroduction
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EITHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. SIXTEEN
  22. SEVENTEEN
  23. EIGHTEEN
  24. NINETEEN
  25. TWENTY
  26. TWENTY-ONE
  27. TWENTY-TWO
  28. TWENTY-THREE
  29. TWENTY-FOUR
  30. TWENTY-FIVE
  31. TWENTY-SIX
  32. TWENTY-SEVEN
  33. TWENTY-EIGHT
  34. TWENTY-NINE
  35. THIRTY
  36. THIRTY-ONE
  37. THIRTY-TWO
  38. THIRTY-THREE
  39. THIRTY-FOUR
  40. THIRTY-FIVE
  41. THIRTY-SIX
  42. THIRTY-SEVEN
  43. THIRTY-EIGHT
  44. THIRTY-NINE
  45. FORTY
  46. FORTY-ONE
  47. FORTY-TWO
  48. FORTY-THREE
  49. FORTY-FOUR
  50. FORTY-FIVE
  51. FORTY-SIX
  52. FORTY-SEVEN
  53. FORTY-EIGHT
  54. FORTY-NINE
  55. FIFTY
  56. FIFTY-ONE
  57. FIFTY-TWO
  58. FIFTY-THREE
  59. FIFTY-FOUR
  60. FIFTY-FIVE
  61. FIFTY-SIX
  62. FIFTY-SEVEN
  63. FIFTY-EIGHT
  64. FIFTY-NINE
  65. SIXTY
  66. SIXTY-ONE
  67. SIXTY-TWO
  68. SIXTY-THREE
  69. SIXTY-FOUR
  70. SIXTY-FIVE
  71. SIXTY-SIX
  72. SIXTY-SEVEN
  73. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  74. CLIMATE EMERGENCY
  75. Copyright

So I go back to being pretty much on my own. Jamie, though not as cold as he could be, is understandably distant, and the majority of people are rightly on his side. There are no ends to the offers to carry his bag, or to leave class early with him to navigate through doorways as he gets used to his lumbering crutches. Most of these offers are from girls, which makes me smile. And Jamie’s never more wobbly on his feet than when Louisa’s helping him.

As I start to plot what needs to be done, and how to do it, I start to feel a little bit like one of the heroes in the books I used to read. I’m the lone fighter in some kind of dystopian universe, all the other kids unable to see what I can see. Alone, I must battle the secret drone army which is holding the world to ransom. On my modified BMX with a sharpened stick, I must save the world.

Fiction is much less scary than real life.

I’m not really allowed any contact with Dana, either. Not that I was ever really allowed to see her anyway. Despite this, I do go a few times to the garden, climbing up onto the top of the wall to look down. She’s never there. The ground toughens towards Christmas, the turned earth sinking back to itself and hardening to cold knuckles. I want to drop down, lay a hand on the cold soil, but I wouldn’t be able to get out again. Maybe that would be a good thing.

I do see her around school sometimes. Usually outside Miss Amber’s office or, some afternoons, I glimpse her from a second-floor classroom, drifting around the edge of the field, out of lessons.

Once, we passed each other in the corridor. It was halfway through a double Biology lesson and I needed to use the toilet. Mr Walters winked at me when I asked if I could go. ‘As it’s you, Josh,’ he’d said. I went bright red. Might as well have worn a sign saying ‘Mr Walters <3 my mum’ around my neck.

Dana was leaning against the wall outside the Deputy Head’s office. I smiled, about to say ‘hello’, but was met by a look of panic, a small but certain shake of the head.

That look kept coming back to me for days after that. Something desperate in it, something trapped. Caged. But it was quickly replaced with Carl’s narrowed eyes and the calm violence of the other tattooed men. Their cold faces are never far from my thoughts.

And all the while the days go past. I try to work out what to do. I fail.