I’m sat on a set of lockers. There’s a kind of alcove at the end of the corridor with lockers set into a bench. I’m sat on these, looking back up the corridor. I can see its whole length, which must be a hundred metres at least. It’s one of the places I go that’s surrounded by noise, but is quiet and removed. That way, people don’t notice you sitting on your own. They don’t ask questions.

I’ve got a few routes that I walk as well. It’s important, when you’re walking around school on your own, to walk like you have a purpose, and to not seem too morose. You don’t want anyone commenting or looking at you for too long. Don’t smile at everyone you see, but don’t keep your head down either. It’s a fine art. Don’t walk the same route every day; you have to mix things up so people don’t spot a pattern. And don’t go places where there’s too many teachers. There are a few places around school that I try to avoid. Mostly it’s the toilets that block up when it’s rained too much, but the staff room and the year group offices are high on the list too; that’s where people ask questions.

It’s easier that way.

When I first went back to school, there was the ‘little chat’ with Mrs Clarke, our head of year, and the counsellor, Miss Amber, who handles all the emotional issues. Normally Miss Amber deals with girls pulling each other’s hair out over the weekend or sending naked pictures of themselves to boys who then put them online. She’d looked at me as if I was a strange sea creature she’d read about but was never expecting to find.

I’d told Miss Amber and Mrs Clarke in that first meeting that I didn’t want any of the teachers to talk to me about it. About Dad. And to be fair, they didn’t. But instead they just looked at me with the look – somewhere between pity and panic. It’s still there. Even from the new teachers who’ve joined since. If any of them see me in the corridor, I get a look and a smile. Or, even worse, a cheery ‘Hi Josh!’. Even from teachers who’ve never taught me and new teachers who shouldn’t know my name.

All the students do it too – the look. Even the new Year Sevens. Word soon gets around I guess.

But no one has ever actually mentioned Dad yet.

Except Mr Walters.