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Back Going Under Save as PDF
Chapters (70)
  1. COVER PAGE
  2. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  3. DEDICATION
  4. PROLOGUE
  5. PART I BIRTH
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EIGHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. PART II LIFE
  22. SIXTEEN
  23. SEVENTEEN
  24. EIGHTEEN
  25. NINETEEN
  26. TWENTY
  27. TWENTY-ONE
  28. TWENTY-TWO
  29. TWENTY-THREE
  30. TWENTY-FOUR
  31. TWENTY-FIVE
  32. TWENTY-SIX
  33. TWENTY-SEVEN
  34. TWENTY-EIGHT
  35. TWENTY-NINE
  36. THIRTY
  37. THIRTY-ONE
  38. THIRTY-TWO
  39. THIRTY-THREE
  40. THIRTY-FOUR
  41. PART III DEATH
  42. THIRTY-FIVE
  43. THIRTY-SIX
  44. THIRTY-SEVEN
  45. THIRTY-EIGHT
  46. THIRTY-NINE
  47. FORTY
  48. FORTY-ONE
  49. FORTY-TWO
  50. FORTY-THREE
  51. FORTY-FOUR
  52. FORTY-FIVE
  53. FORTY-SIX
  54. FORTY-SEVEN
  55. FORTY-EIGHT
  56. FORTY-NINE
  57. FIFTY
  58. FIFTY-ONE
  59. FIFTY-TWO
  60. FIFTY-THREE
  61. FIFTY-FOUR
  62. FIFTY-FIVE
  63. FIFTY-SIX
  64. FIFTY-SEVEN
  65. FIFTY-EIGHT
  66. FIFTY-NINE
  67. SIXTY
  68. EPILOGUE
  69. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  70. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

‘They don’t even pay us overtime,’ Estelle rightly said. ‘Can’t really see the combo company–car phone deal, you know, mate?’

Amusing myself with the memory of this conversation, I finally arrive on level seven, covered in sweat.

I see the new registrar as soon as I enter the ward. She’s standing at the nurses’ station squinting up at the patient board.

‘Hi,’ I say. ‘I’m Kat—’

‘Yes, I know who you are,’ she snaps, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Not that I could have picked there was a hair out of place; her immaculately styled blonde hair makes me all too aware of my own customary dishevelment. ‘Where have you been? I’ve been going through the blood results and there are about fifteen different things that you’ve obviously ignored.’

I gape at her.

‘And where’s my list? You never meet a registrar without a list for them. Go and print one. Now.’

Then, as if she’s just made a benign comment about the weather, she smiles. ‘I’m Rachel, by the way.’

And just like that, my newfound happiness evaporates.

SIX

six

When I was fifteen one of my relatives asked me at a family lunch what I wanted to be when I grew up. I didn’t even hesitate.

‘I want to be a Bond girl,’ I replied.

I was trying to sound clever, but I also actually meant it. Fifteen-year-old me wanted a life filled with European beaches, attractive and dangerous men, fast cars and dry martinis. So, tell me, James—do you still sleep with a gun under your pillow?

Being a junior doctor has the potential for some Bond-esque moments—after all, nearly every Bond movie features an attractive female medic in some form or other—but so far I haven’t had any. Unlike me, Bond movie medics aren’t constrained by the walls or protocols of a teaching hospital. Their expertise seems to lie in the realms of the art of seduction, rather than the supposed art of medicine. The doctor in The World Is Not Enough clears Bond prematurely for fieldwork because they’d had extremely hot sex, and all I really remember is her expensive black underwear and white doctor’s coat. She doesn’t seem to have any qualms about sleeping with her patients. Where’s the medical board intervention in her case? How could she have cleared him medically anyway? She didn’t even check his X-rays properly!