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Back Going Under Save as PDF
Chapters (70)
  1. COVER PAGE
  2. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  3. DEDICATION
  4. PROLOGUE
  5. PART I BIRTH
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EIGHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. PART II LIFE
  22. SIXTEEN
  23. SEVENTEEN
  24. EIGHTEEN
  25. NINETEEN
  26. TWENTY
  27. TWENTY-ONE
  28. TWENTY-TWO
  29. TWENTY-THREE
  30. TWENTY-FOUR
  31. TWENTY-FIVE
  32. TWENTY-SIX
  33. TWENTY-SEVEN
  34. TWENTY-EIGHT
  35. TWENTY-NINE
  36. THIRTY
  37. THIRTY-ONE
  38. THIRTY-TWO
  39. THIRTY-THREE
  40. THIRTY-FOUR
  41. PART III DEATH
  42. THIRTY-FIVE
  43. THIRTY-SIX
  44. THIRTY-SEVEN
  45. THIRTY-EIGHT
  46. THIRTY-NINE
  47. FORTY
  48. FORTY-ONE
  49. FORTY-TWO
  50. FORTY-THREE
  51. FORTY-FOUR
  52. FORTY-FIVE
  53. FORTY-SIX
  54. FORTY-SEVEN
  55. FORTY-EIGHT
  56. FORTY-NINE
  57. FIFTY
  58. FIFTY-ONE
  59. FIFTY-TWO
  60. FIFTY-THREE
  61. FIFTY-FOUR
  62. FIFTY-FIVE
  63. FIFTY-SIX
  64. FIFTY-SEVEN
  65. FIFTY-EIGHT
  66. FIFTY-NINE
  67. SIXTY
  68. EPILOGUE
  69. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  70. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

‘It must be them!’ Winnie half whispers, half shrieks, throwing back her champagne in one gulp. ‘It’s them! Go to the door.’

It’s a perfect night for a dinner party. It’s an early spring evening and the sun is just beginning to creep down, casting a glow over the house. Everything looks warm and welcoming, and the evening takes a magical turn. My shift in emergency is a distant memory. Real life is suspended. That can start again tomorrow, I decide. Everything can wait until tomorrow. The crack in the universe opens, and I let myself fall through it. Into the rose-garden, I hear Mum say. Let yourself walk into the rose-garden.

So glamorously holding my glass of champagne like the hostess with the mostess that I have miraculously become, I walk to the door to greet my guests.

FORTY-ONE

forty-one

‘You girls should definitely come and see my latest acquisition,’ Dr Prince—Jack—is saying. Now that he’s in my home, I have to keep reminding myself to call him Jack. Jack, I practise in my head as I refill his wineglass, trying not to stare at him too creepily.

I can’t remember what bottle we’re up to, but all the food has been served, and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. There was just one slightly awkward moment when Winnie and I were carrying the plates to the kitchen. Winnie turned to me and whispered, ‘God, Dr Prince—I mean Jack—can’t stop staring at you! He’s seriously into you, Kitty.’ And before I had a chance to respond we heard a noise and turned around to see the man himself offering to help us wash up.

Any resolutions to drink sensibly and remain sensible have completely gone out the window. Everyone is cracking into the wine as if they are the last bottles on earth. In addition, Tomas has brought two bottles of Scandinavian aquavit, a horrifically strong liquor which apparently has serious effects on one’s ability to think or act clearly.

‘Let’s open it,’ Dr Prince—Jack—suggests.

I wonder if this is such a good idea. I’ve been doing so well. I might be drunk, but I’m in control of most of my faculties. I haven’t taken off any clothes or said anything sexually inappropriate (that I remember), nor have I vomited. I’m doing a fine job. The aquavit might change that, however.

Of course, everyone else thinks it’s a top idea and suddenly Winnie is producing plastic shot glasses we bought for our house party a few months ago.

We spend the next hour shooting strong Scandinavian schnapps and yelling ‘Skol!’ at regular intervals.

‘You know there’s something about this house,’ Jack is saying to Winnie.

She looks across at me and raises her eyebrows.

I swear I feel number 19 smirk, if houses can even do that.