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Back Going Under Save as PDF
Chapters (70)
  1. COVER PAGE
  2. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  3. DEDICATION
  4. PROLOGUE
  5. PART I BIRTH
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EIGHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. PART II LIFE
  22. SIXTEEN
  23. SEVENTEEN
  24. EIGHTEEN
  25. NINETEEN
  26. TWENTY
  27. TWENTY-ONE
  28. TWENTY-TWO
  29. TWENTY-THREE
  30. TWENTY-FOUR
  31. TWENTY-FIVE
  32. TWENTY-SIX
  33. TWENTY-SEVEN
  34. TWENTY-EIGHT
  35. TWENTY-NINE
  36. THIRTY
  37. THIRTY-ONE
  38. THIRTY-TWO
  39. THIRTY-THREE
  40. THIRTY-FOUR
  41. PART III DEATH
  42. THIRTY-FIVE
  43. THIRTY-SIX
  44. THIRTY-SEVEN
  45. THIRTY-EIGHT
  46. THIRTY-NINE
  47. FORTY
  48. FORTY-ONE
  49. FORTY-TWO
  50. FORTY-THREE
  51. FORTY-FOUR
  52. FORTY-FIVE
  53. FORTY-SIX
  54. FORTY-SEVEN
  55. FORTY-EIGHT
  56. FORTY-NINE
  57. FIFTY
  58. FIFTY-ONE
  59. FIFTY-TWO
  60. FIFTY-THREE
  61. FIFTY-FOUR
  62. FIFTY-FIVE
  63. FIFTY-SIX
  64. FIFTY-SEVEN
  65. FIFTY-EIGHT
  66. FIFTY-NINE
  67. SIXTY
  68. EPILOGUE
  69. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  70. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Tomas walks us out, and we all exchange awkward hugs on the street. I watch as Wolfgang and Astrid stroll away, arm in arm. Then Wolfgang turns back. The streetlights illuminate his face, and he smiles at me. It’s not a longing smile, or a flirty smile. It’s the smile of a man who understands. There isn’t any attraction between me and Wolfgang Dietrich, it’s not quite like that. It’s as if we’re kindred spirits.

‘See you in Sydney,’ he calls. ‘You’ve promised us dinner.’

I see it, just for a second, the glint in his eye. Wolfgang Dietrich is staring at me through his own looking-glass, behind him the crashing Australian ocean and a long mane of shining brown hair tumbling over a woman’s breasts. When I dream of Lund’s cathedral, he will dream of Sydney Harbour. It brings a new, much more personal meaning to the term ‘the grass is always greener’. Or maybe it’s just the simple fact that even as doctors we aren’t immune to the basic human desire of always wanting what we can’t have.

THIRTY

thirty

I arrive in Amsterdam and check in to the hotel only to receive a message from Fabien telling me he’s missed his flight. He’s trying to find another one, but it’s not looking good. My buoyant mood instantly evaporates.

When he calls me a few minutes later, I’m tempted to hurl my phone out the window into the canal. I press answer, and stare into the camera.

When I see the worried look in his brown eyes, I feel my anger dissipating. I almost feel bad for him.

‘I’m so sorry, Kit,’ he says as his face goes fuzzy with the bad reception. ‘Don’t be angry—the bus broke down on the way to the airport.’

‘So now what?’ I say, trying to get my disappointment under control. ‘I only came here to see you and instead I’m all alone in this stupidly big hotel room.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he repeats. He looks stressed. ‘I think there’s another flight tomorrow morning, so I should be able to get there by tomorrow night.’

My frustration is rising to the surface again. ‘I just don’t understand how I’ve managed to get from Australia to Sweden, present a research paper, and fly to Amsterdam on time, and you can’t even get one lousy flight!’

He’s saved by the lousy connection.

‘It’s okay, Kit,’ I hear coming through brokenly. ‘Lightning strikes, remember?’