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Back Going Under Save as PDF
Chapters (70)
  1. COVER PAGE
  2. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  3. DEDICATION
  4. PROLOGUE
  5. PART I BIRTH
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EIGHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. PART II LIFE
  22. SIXTEEN
  23. SEVENTEEN
  24. EIGHTEEN
  25. NINETEEN
  26. TWENTY
  27. TWENTY-ONE
  28. TWENTY-TWO
  29. TWENTY-THREE
  30. TWENTY-FOUR
  31. TWENTY-FIVE
  32. TWENTY-SIX
  33. TWENTY-SEVEN
  34. TWENTY-EIGHT
  35. TWENTY-NINE
  36. THIRTY
  37. THIRTY-ONE
  38. THIRTY-TWO
  39. THIRTY-THREE
  40. THIRTY-FOUR
  41. PART III DEATH
  42. THIRTY-FIVE
  43. THIRTY-SIX
  44. THIRTY-SEVEN
  45. THIRTY-EIGHT
  46. THIRTY-NINE
  47. FORTY
  48. FORTY-ONE
  49. FORTY-TWO
  50. FORTY-THREE
  51. FORTY-FOUR
  52. FORTY-FIVE
  53. FORTY-SIX
  54. FORTY-SEVEN
  55. FORTY-EIGHT
  56. FORTY-NINE
  57. FIFTY
  58. FIFTY-ONE
  59. FIFTY-TWO
  60. FIFTY-THREE
  61. FIFTY-FOUR
  62. FIFTY-FIVE
  63. FIFTY-SIX
  64. FIFTY-SEVEN
  65. FIFTY-EIGHT
  66. FIFTY-NINE
  67. SIXTY
  68. EPILOGUE
  69. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  70. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

It suddenly dawns on me: Max was present that night as well. No wonder he’s been behaving so oddly.

I stare at Max in shock as he starts to talk.

‘I stayed back late to finish some research,’ he says, ‘and the person covering theatres after hours had called in sick. Because I’m keen to do surgery, I offered to replace her so the on-call doctor didn’t have to come in.’

Everyone nods. I nod too. The Joker starts to look a bit uncomfortable.

‘And the list finished at about ten-thirty that night,’ he continues.

Yes, I think, that would have been right. That’s when Estelle sent me the call-to-arms text, and I met her in the utility room.

‘I went into the change room and then I needed to go to the bathroom. I didn’t think I could wait till I got home …’ He pauses, looking a bit sheepish.

‘It’s okay, Max, you don’t have to justify needing to use the bathroom,’ Dr Lawson says, sounding almost amused.

‘Anyway, I was just about to flush the toilet,’ Max says, embarrassed, ‘when I heard some, ah … some unusual sounds.’ He glances briefly at the Joker.

The Joker starts to speak, but Dr Lawson puts up her hand. ‘Let him finish,’ she orders.

‘I heard someone calling someone else a … slut,’ Max says awkwardly, ‘and then what sounded like people taking their clothes off. I wanted to see what was going on, in case it was something bad, so I really quietly opened the toilet door and looked around the corner. They didn’t see me, but I could see them.’

‘What did you see, Max?’ Dr Lawson leans in.

‘I saw Dr …’ Max tips his head towards the Joker, ‘standing up with his pants off and one of the other doctors in the hospital … um …’

Everyone is silent.

‘You know,’ Max says uncomfortably, ‘ah, performing oral … sex … on him.’

At this the Joker starts shouting and Dr Lawson starts shouting back, trying to calm him down. Max looks like he’s about to be sick, and I just sit there, feeling completely numb. All this time, Max knew. If I’d said something or he’d said something, if we’d joined forces and done something sooner, together, maybe she would still be alive.

Through the numbness, I start to wonder exactly why I’m present at the meeting. No one has mentioned anything to do with me and Dr Prince. Max also wouldn’t have known I had been there, as by the time I’d encountered Rachel she was out of the change room and Max’s earshot.

‘This is bullshit,’ the Joker snarls. ‘It’s his word against mine. And just for argument’s sake, say it did happen—and I’m not saying it did—but if two consenting adults should engage in such behaviour, well, doctors have done a lot worse behind closed doors.’